Blessed Challenge

I have to record this super awesome day at work I had. It is the best feeling to place a client that I have worked with for so long. I first met Khadija the first week I started this job. She was one of my very first clients. So I've been working with her for over three months! She is the quietest person I have ever met in my life. She's only 16 years old which adds to her list of challenges in finding a job. At least she can speak English. It has been fun to spend time with her and have her open up to me. I learned a lot about the Somali/Muslim culture from her.
Last Friday I took Khadija and two other ladies out to apply for a job. The other ladies, Hawa and Naima, are not my clients, but I gave an open invitation to the other job counselors to send their clients my way if they were available. I heard about the job from good ol' Craig's List. A family owned business on Grand Ave. looking for dishwashers. I love working with down to earth small businesses like that. They are so much more real and understanding about the challenges our clients face in coming to this country. It was such a pleasant experience and I was sure that at least one of them would be able to get the job. It took us two hours to fill out the applications due to Hawa not speaking a word of English, and Naima not only having to translate for her, but try to figure out her own application and the writing. For women like these, the ESL classes they've had to take are their first taste of education in their entire lives. So things like reading and writing are huge challenges. And it's a great accomplishment to complete an application. I was expecting a little more of an interview from the owner, but he basically looked over the applications and looked at the girls and said, "Alright, who wants to start tomorrow?" We all looked at eachother like, is he serious? He hired all three of them on the spot, just like that! What a HUGE blessing, and man, I wish it was that easy all the time. It was a beautiful moment. And especially for Khadija. I am so blessed and I know she is too. Being a job counselor is not always an easy thing. It takes a lot of patience. Three months of job searching and 50 applications later. Finally!
I love this job. I love my clients.
And yet another great time with my Russian clients today. I took them to downtown Minneapolis, and this time without their translator. It was a lot of fun spending time with Marina and Galina, and I'm sure they appreciated the practice speaking English. I'm so impressed with their progress. Just a month ago all Galina could say was, Nice to meet you. And now she's understanding so much and communicating so much. and Marina's English is wow. She's my age and I feel this connection with her where I hope we can remain friends for a long time. She's the sweetest! She may have landed this sewing job at a tailor shop.
I'm so blessed, I can hardly find words. Each day is a challenge, and there are things that are so way out of my comfort zone... like having to be professional, and having to make tons of phone calls, and having to deny people bus cards, and struggling to motivate certain people. But I can't help by fall in love with all my clients. They are the coolest. I love working with these people. They teach me so much, and I always always want to aproach them with an attitude of learning from them, but also being able to help them understand the way things work around here. It bothers me when Americans treat new Americans like they are stupid and have an attitude of superiority simply because they speak English and DO know everything about living here. Try living in another country where you don't speak the language and don't understand the culture. It doesn't make you stupid, just out of your element. These people are not stupid. My clients have abundant treasures to teach me and facinating stories to tell and an incredible past that is most times filled with a lot of pain that we could never imagine. I am still so amazed that I am here and that I get to work with these people everyday. Please Please remember to pray for me that the most important treasure is Jesus, and that he is in me and I have this great treasure to share with them as well!
blessings upon blessings.
And some how my car has power steering now. How did that happen? Yeah, I've been driving it for months without. Strange.
I feel a tightening in my chest lately. I'm doing all I can to beat a cold before it gets too the coughing and running nose junk. So I made some homemade vegie soup. And now I'm just rambling.
I meet a new client tomorrow. Yay, what new challenges will this one bring?

Goodness

It's Friday... and the final hours at work. These last ones take f o r e v e r . . .

In a bit I'll be taking some clients out to apply for a dishwashing job. Then it's off to the Nort Country where I'll be staying the night with my sister and her family, then going shopping all day Saturday with Maia. I'm looking foward to spending some quality time with her. It's well overdue.

I'm happy today. God is good.

A Miracle Happened

A miracle happened. That baby with the messed up knee... the knee cap went back all by its self!No one can explain it except that many were praying for her. It's completely normal now. Wow, God!

There's a lot to think about these days. What will become of our recently democratic/liberal majority nation, how do I help one of my clients who can't speak a word of English that's put a restraining order on her own son, how do I manage my income wisely, how is it that day by day by day passes by without a deeper striving for the Lord, how can I build raport with those I see everyday without becoming "of the world."

God is good. I wish I knew him better. I miss you Lord. Show me the depths of your love.

A Look

I posted all the books I want to sell on ebay last night. But I guess more interesting things have happened to me lately. One of which is observing a day in the life of Amy my co-worker. Besides working part time at Lifetrack she's also an on call translator and she's so busy and frazzled. Last night she was up all hours with a woman in labor and had to stick around to translate through all the complications. They had to do a C section. But that's not the worst of it. The baby is totally healthy, but her leg is messed up. I offered to give Amy a ride home after work and she asked if I wanted to go with her to stop in and see the baby. The baby is so precious, but poor thing... the knee cap is on the oposite side of her leg so that her leg does not bend normally, but backwards! It bends up! All the doctors had never seen anything like this before. I saw it myself and felt her little knee cap on the wrong side. They have to bring in a special orthopedic pediatrician. It was the weirdest thing seeing that little baby's leg bend the oposite way.
While we were there Amy got a call about a girl who fell at school so she asked if I'd take her to the children's hospital emergency room. So I did and stayed for a while. I knew that if I stayed too long though the calls would probably never end, so I had to say goodbye. But it was really interesting to see how Amy's life works. She is pretty frazzled, and helps her people in every way she can, but she finds it hard to say no, even when she has reached her limits... like today going on only a couple hours of sleep. She's so tired. But she does what she does well.
We had a little "retreat" at work today. We just basically ate and hung out. We played a little game of just answering questions. I got this one question, "If you could have any job in the world for a week, what would it be?" I really like my job so it was hard to think of anything else really. But I have been so touched recently by the Baker's ministry so I said I want work in an orphanage in Mozambique. Right now I'm happy with what I'm doing. But I still don't see myself here for very long. I still have a desire to go overseas and see the world. I'm still waiting and trusting God for more clarity in my calling and more love and more passion for those that need Jesus!. Jesus is so sweet. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Learns

I met with Galina's daughter today. Marina was such a sweetheart. I was getting all her previous job experience down so I could make up her resume. She had a plethora of jobs to speak of and she's only a year older then me. She went on and on in Russian about the details of the jobs she's had and finally her interpreter let out a big "Ooooh." Then she explained to me that the reason is because every time that she started speaking about Christ they would find a reason to let her go or request her to quit. Isn't it surreal. I told them I have heard of these things happening in many other countries, but not so much in Russia lately. But they affirmed that the persecution and prejudice against Christians by the Orthodox in Russia is still very much a reality as it probably was during the Soviet Union days. They can't even hold a job in their supposedly free country because they love the Lord. They are grateful to be here, but the interpreter added her own comment that who knows how long that will last even in the States. I love these Russian gals. They encourage me so much with their faith and joy and testimonies.

I wanted to share a couple things that the Lord taught me this weekend through a friend that my folks had over. There were a couple things that really stuck with me and I've been thinking about them a lot.

Faith is a gift. We can't conjure it up or work it into being. I thought of things I've been "trying" to have faith for. I thought of particular moments of praying for healing where I was trying to conjure up the faith to make it happen. And I thought of things where I knew for a fact that I had genuine faith. (I guess the knowing for a fact is exactly what faith is all about). For example, I know for a fact that God is keeping this mole safe. I have this mole on my back and mom prayed over it when I was young and I've never forgotten it and I've never feared that I'd get skin cancer from it. Cause I just know that he's healed me past present future. And I have faith that even though I feel there's something missing spiritually that he's going to feed me, fill me up, and satisfy that emptiness. I wish it were right this moment, but still I just know that it's going to happen.

The other thing is that We are the Salt of the Earth. Salt does not serve to feed or fill you up. It serves to make you thirsty and wanting more. In sharing Christ with others perhaps as salt we serve to get them interested and hungry for more. We don't need to try to fill them up with food they can't handle by giving them the whole picture. They're liable to throw up.

Some interesting thoughts.

I'm so blessed right now. My totally awesome friend gave/lent me some furniture! She made my house a home. I actually have a place to sit in the living room now. And yikes she also threw in a TV and DVD player. So now y'all have to come visit me so you can sit on furniture and watch TV and let me be your hostess. I'll feed you. No charge... I promise. Be my guest. How fun is that!? This is a new thing for me, so as silly as it is, I'm going to enjoy it. Thank the Lord for the simple things in life like a place to rest your bum.

The new Pad

Here's some pics of my new place. nothin fancy as you can see. but its warm and dry and quiet. When you gonna come live with me Kel?

America Bless God

Are you in need of some encouragement today? Well I got some.

I met with my first Russian client yesterday. She doesn't speak a word of English, so her cousin Natasha was translating. Galina was such a sweetheart. She has a daughter my age. I wonder if she thinks it's weird to have me so young as her job counselor. Anyway, we went through all the paper work and I was so encouraged by her answer to the question "what do you want in your life for the future?" She said that she wanted to learn English well enough to get a job in her field as a dermatologist so that she can share Jesus with her patients. She's a Christian. And she was overwhelmingly blessed to hear that I am too! You don't need to speak the same language to share this spiritual connection. She loves the Lord and is passionate about sharing Him with others. I can't wait til she does speak English because God's going to use her as a missionary to this sad country of America. Not that she sees the U.S. that way. She is so happy to be here and loves this country and the freedoms it provides.

Being at this job is helping me to appreciate more and more that I was born here in America. I've heard many stories from my clients of the things they left behind when they came to America as refugees. I can't fathom what they've been through. I'm amazed every day that I get to work with them and help them adjust to this place where they are free. Sure, there are many other challenges they face in coming to live here, but they are nothing compareds to what they've escaped from.

Press In

So I'm finally moved into my new place. It's nothing fabulous, but it's a place to lay my head. I finally got a bed after sleeping on the floor for a week. I still don't have any other furniture tho. It's interesting. I'm not complaining tho. God's been so good to me.

I went to North Carolina for a week with my folks to visit my bro Joe and sis Eva. Good times. Got to hear Heidi and Roland Baker and they had some amazing things to say. They're so free in the spirit and free from religion. It's so refreshing to be in their presence.

We saw Heidi again just last Wednesday in Maplewood, MN at a healing conference. It was cool. So I decided to check out the church where the conference was held this Sunday morning to see what a Sunday morning service was like. It was pretty cool. I went by myself and just enjoyed worshiping the Lord.. I didn't really take the time to meet any one tho. Maybe I'll go again next week and stick around a little bit longer. It still has a religious feel to it, but I decided it's better to be a part of something where people are seeking after God imprefectly then to be a part of nothing and try to seek him completely on my own... I've already figured out that it's really HARD! Why it's so hard, I'll never understand why.

And that leads to what the Lord's been teaching me in big ways these last couple weeks. I realized that I give up really easily. I get frustrated fast and give up when I'm expecting a touch from the Lord and nothing happens... I get mad! I get frustrated, I compare myself to others, I get easily distracted, I get discouraged, and I give up. I just say, forget it, He's ignoring me, doesn't he want me to want him, what am i doing wrong.... yadda yadda... all that stuff. But the last few days expecially I keep hearing the phrases "Press In" "Seek with all your heart" "Persevere" "Reach" PRESS IN. I feel the Lord is telling me to not give up so easily. He wants to know how much I really want Him. How hungry am I? I do want him, but I get discouraged because I feel like finding him shouldn't be so dang hard. But I have to believe not according to my experiences, but according to His Word which is truth that when I seek Him I will find him when I seek him with all my heart. So I'm asking the Lord for more and more hunger. I don't want to give up anymore. He's worth my time and my pressing in.

on the move

Tomorrow I move into my new place. I'm pretty excited to have my own place. Just pray for me if you think of it that I will be safe in the city all by my lonesome. It's a little weird... I felt more safe traveling in China standing alone amongst a see full of black-haired, black-eyed Chinese then I often do here in down town Saint Paul. What's the Deal?

Once I get settled maybe I'll post a picture of my new place for you.

I'm loving my job so much. I STILL feel so so blessed to have this job. The feeling of gratitude and amazement has not left me. I appreciate it so much. I hope I can do it to the best of my ability and improve myself in many ways.

I have a dark confession to tell you though. It's something that I am so so ashamed of. The reason I humbly tell you is to ask for your prayers. Seriously. There is a fear of man that plagues me even in my dreams. It's disturbing me. Do you know what I mean when I say fear of man? I mean that I fail to make use of oportunities to share Jesus. I fail to wear his name boldy and proudly and unashamedly. I fail to open my mouth in his defense. I fail in so many ways to make him known. This is disturbing me so much and I want it to stop. I need to be delivered from this fear of man. I need to die to myself and know the truth that I know in my heart in my head. I am sick of giving into the stifflings of the enemy.

I want to know the authority and character of Jesus Christ and be emerced in that. I want to be baptized, dunked, totally enraptured by hiM.

Thanks for praying this into reality.

Going the Distances

I'll be moving into my new apartment Sept. 30. I'm excited to have my own place. I think it will be fun. Plus it's so close to work. There's so many things to do, which is good because it will keep me busy as I don't have a lot of friends down here and don't have a TV.

I have plenty of other things to keep my busy as well. I'll be in my friend's wedding this weekend. I hope it's not too cold. A million blessings to you Tiff and Joel! Then comes the move. Then I'll be going on a road trip with mom and dad to NCarolina to visit Joey and Eva. That'll filled with events as well. We get to go to some conferences. One to hear Roland and Heidi Baker. Oh my goodness that's going to be awesome. In case you've never heard of them, they have an orphanage in Africa and God is doing AMAZING INCREDIBLE OUTSTANDING FABULOUS UNBELIEVABLE-BELIEVABLE things there. You MUST read their book. You can buy it on half.com. It's called "There's Always Enough." Please read it. It will change your life. The other conference is called Harvest Fest. I'm looking foward to hearing Jason Upton. He's got some really powerful music that truly blesses the Lord's heart. It's going to be good. And ofcourse I'm so looking foward to seeing my siblings.

Then after that its back into the frigid reality of MN to trudge through another winter. I realized that I'm really a fairweather kinda gal. I'm not too thrilled about wearing coats and mittens and blowing my nose more then i already do, and having to warm up the car... all that good stuff. I guess I could handle going snow boarding a few times tho... missed that a lot when i was in China.

Hope you are all well. Drop me a line some time.

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

Dixon!

I decided kind of last minute to go down to Illinois to visit my lovely friend and ex roomate from college. The ride down wasn't bad even though I was going on little sleep, driving a manual, and no radio in the car! I had a good time singing any worship song that came to mind at the top of my lungs. Kelly is a great host and I'm already having a great time. I'm at the dixon library with her now. She's showing me around their little town. it's really old and cute. lots of history. she lives at her grandmas house as shes in a nursing home now. the house is filled with 80 some years of accumulation of little treasures and lots of stuff. im gonna help her clean up the yard a bit which i don't mind cuz i like the flowers and being out side. we're gonna go to this little art festival in the town square and maybe go garage saling and to a green house. i really want to buy a plant for my office. it's nice to get away from the big city for a bit. And it's especially nice to see my Kelly. Last I saw her was when she saw me off the day I left for China over a year ago.

I hope you all have a great Labor day.

I accepted the full time permanent position today! I was debating it for so long. First I was sure I didn't want to do it for fear that I would get too comfortable in a certain lifestyle and forget my desire and heart to go overseas and serve the Lord in bigger ways. But then my mom had a good point. She said if the Lord has really put that in my heart, then as long as I'm seeking him he will keep those things in my heart. I also figured out that I can pay off my loans in the year that I work here! So that's awesome.

It's been a challenging week. I had to learn how to handle a domestic abuse situation, and trying to find jobs for people with zero English, and cultural barriers and transportation barriers. It's so challenging. I learn so much every day. Some times its pretty overwhelming.

I've decided that now that I'm going to be here longer I need to start getting out and doing things and meeting people since I don't really have any friends down here. I would love to take a pottery class, and language classes, and attend some kind of home fellowship/Bible study thing, and get involved in the community somehow and serve with other believers doing some ministry or service. So these are the kinds of things I will be looking out for.

Power Love Sound Mind

I have to make another decision. Yikes. I just found out that I have the oportunity to get a permanent position here. The job is great and I really like the people I work with. I feel so blessed to be here. But am I ready to settle? Am I ready for a career? Am I ready to give up being able to up and leave whenever I get the notion? The word "permanent" is kinda freaking me out I think. So this is how I feel right now... unless God makes it very clear that I should keep this job, I am going to keep the plans I had before and move to North Carolina to be with my brother and sister for a while.
It's raining today. It's been hot all week, and of course, the day that we are going to have the company picnic, it rains. Picnic must be somekind of trigger word for Rain in the heavenly places. So yeah, I'm going to the company picnic. Rain or shine. I've gotta stop being anti social. The people here are really nice.
I've got a good song stuck in my head: Power, Love, Sound mind is mine.

God is Good

I just read the coolest article in Catalyst (magazine put out by Minneapolis Foundation). It began with how a Hmong refugee family from Laos settled in St. Paul, but as concerns about crime and safety grew, they decided to move to a rural area. The daughter had been watching "Little House on the Prarie" on TV and learned that Walnut Grove was an actual town in Minnesota. So they decided to move there. They were the town's first Hmong residents..."modern-day settlers." The rest of the story goes like this, "Walnut Grove was a small town struggling to survive. As businesses closed and young families left for metropolitan areas, the town was facing school closures due to its dwindling population. Since their arrival [the Hmong family] started several businesses in town and has helped attract the settlement of new residents. The arrival of Hmong families--now nearly one third of the town's population--has led to a community renewal."
I just thought that was pretty cool.
Well, work is going well, and as you can see I am learning many new things. Today I volunteered to help out with a job fair we hosted and I met some really interesting people. One of which was this guy from Ethiopia, and he was such a character. He reccomended some local Ethiopian restaraunts that I'm anxious to try, and encouraged me to visit Ethiopia someday if I get the chance.
At this place of business they have a peer award they call the Holey Mackeral. It can be given to anyone or by anyone working here at Lifetrack for outstanding work or something like that. Someone gave me a Holey Mackeral today for volunteering! So that's kind of cool I guess!
I'm excited for tomorrow, because I will be taking a client out to apply for jobs around the area. I look foward to getting to know her better. She is SO incredibly shy. Her name is Khadija and she's Somali. How fortunate am I to hang out with people from all over the world every day! God is sooooo good.
He's been working me over a lot lately. It's a constant dying of myself that is so painful, but hugely neccesary. I've done a lot of crying and struggling. But God is good. After the storms are still, calm waters. He's so good.

On the Job

So I started my new job yesterday! So far it's been pretty low key, trying to remember the million things that go into this. I'm still just amazed that I have this job. It's a miracle. I am officially a job counselor for refugees who have been in the US for less than 8 months. How cool is that. I can't wait til I get my first client. It's going to be so interesting.

I feel like I don't get enought sleep though. It takes me over an hour to get to and from work now that I'm living in Chanhassen with my bro and his family. But hopefully soon I will be relocated closer to St. Paul. God's so good to me. I'm just flabbergasted at his faithfulness.

He's Too Good

God got me a sweet job. I wasn't even looking for a job! My sister told her old high school friend that I was interested in working with refugees and immigrants (which is what she is currently doing), and asked if she could possibly give me some contacts or some kind of guidance in that regard. She said, well actually we are looking for some one right now! So within about two days I applied, interviewed and got the job!! I will be helping refugees find jobs! I am so excited. There were some other commitments that I had to get out of. I still feel bad about that. But I know that God has really worked this out especially in my favor. I went for the job without knowing what I'd do for a car or where I'd live. But I still went for it and knew that if it was God's doing he'd take care of all that. And he is taking care of it Royally! He loves me too much! After I got the job, I told a few people and randomly my friend who lives in St. Paul said she needed a roommate as soon as possible! God, how could I have ever doubted your goodness? His love is undeniable. Why do I doubt him? Praise the Lord. He is so good to me. He provides Royally even when I have been unfaithful to him. I don't understand his ways. But I humbly rejoice that he loves ME!!
Anyway
I start tomorrow now. I better get some shut eye so I can have a good first day. Just worried about the drive there in the morning. Other then that, I think it will be great.
Tell you all about it.

Etc.

I started working at the Salvation Army Northwoods Camp this week. I’ve spent most of my time there this week. Mom works in the kitchen there, so we can go to a from there with each other. This is their first year of holding summer camp so things are pretty disorganized. It’s only a few miles from our house! I feel a little guilty cause it’s like I’m betraying Grindstone where I’d been a loyal camp counselor for five years! It’s all good. You’ll never guess what position they’ve given me at Northwoods. I’m the camp nurse! It’s so funny. I’m the least qualified person to be the nurse. All the counselors and staff there were required to take a 3 hour first aid course. Now the only person without experience or training is doing the job! All I’m really doing is taking care of the campers’ meds. If anything really serious were to happen there are plenty of people I could ask, including an LPN who’s helping out in the kitchen. The Lord has such a sense of humor to open up this position for me. I’ve yet to see what his purpose in it is.
It’s been good to be home, but sadly I’m quickly forgetting about China almost as if it was simply a dream and not reality. I don’t want to forget it, but I feel so strangely about talking about it. I haven’t talked about it much, cuz I’m asked very few questions about it and I feel like people are tired of hearing about something they could never truly share with me. So I just let it go, and with it go some memories. Sad! I’ve got to get over that and just talk. There’s other things I’ve got to get over. Here comes the part where you learn more about my issues. In China I’m the cool foreigner who can do no wrong, so I feel very comfortable to talk and initiate friendships and be myself. But when I’m around these crazy American’s I shut down. What’s the deal? Jesus, free me from the fear of man! Seriously.
I’ve finally started to be able to breathe lately. Allergies be gone! Since I’ve started to sleep in the tent I wake up without sneezing and going through a box of klenex. It’s awesome. It even rained buckets last night and I slept right through the storm.
I’m enjoying going out into the field with my Dad and Grandpa and watering the baby apple trees. In the next few years I’ll have to learn to start calling it the orchard. There’s about 40 trees out there. And then there’s the raspberries and blueberries to pick. It’s really good for me to be here. I must apologize to all my friends whom I love dearly who haven’t heard much from me since I’ve been home. I just haven’t felt ready to be entirely social quite yet. August is my designated friend month. I am planning a Tour de Amigos. Then in September I am off to start something new in North Carolina.
I admit its been a struggle for me spiritually since I’ve been home. Being so secluded and disconnected from a church body for so long had really dried me out. It’s been so hard for me to keep up with every one here. The first couple weeks home I started to get really angry with God as I compared myself to others and where they were at with the Lord. But He’s slowly getting to me, teaching me that I’m in a different place and it has nothing to do with any one else. And the big picture is, it’s not about me. It’s so elementary, but for where I am right now, it’s like hearing it for the first time and it’s hard. Please pray for me as I press on and let the Lord gently draw me back into fellowship.

Home!

Hey!
I finally made it home after 36 hours of flying, changing planes four times, and layovers. It's good to be home. But I haven't had much time to recover from jet lag so I am still really tired.. I've been really busy every day since the day I got here. And probably will be busy for another week at least. I'm finding it hard to keep up with every one. I'm still so tired and haven't really had time to process what all has happened.
Well, Happy July 4 to you all. I just came in from watchin a great fire works show with my family. My nephews are just now getting old enough to really appreciate it. It was great fun.
It's good to be home, but also really weird. I feel like I've never left. I feel like I've been home all along, but somehow I've downloaded all kinds of new memories. While I was in China it felt like a long time to be away from home. But now that I'm back it felt like no time at all.
I miss my students a lot. And now that I'm no longer with them, I keep thinking of all kinds of things that I should have done or should have done better. I guess there's no use in that.
I look foward to seeing all my friends again. Hopfully this jet lag will fade out really soon. I want to have as much energy as possible as I see every one and prepare for what's next.
For the summer I will live at my parent's home and will work with my mom at the new Salvation Army camp just a few miles from home. So hopefully I can make some cash this summer before I head down to North Carolina.
I can't tell you how grateful I am to all of you who have been praying for me. It touches me deeply. There's not a doubt in my mind that it's because of your prayers that I remained safe and healthy while in China. The Lord that blessed me so much. I am humbled by your faithfulness and ministry. GOD BLESS YOU!

I've had requests to keep this blog going. I will try. You know, being in China was a great expereince and there's no doubt that I needed prayer throughout that time. Now that I am home I humbly ask that you continue to pray for me. There are some battles I face that don't disappear simply by getting on a plane and flying away (although I wish it were that easy). I'm not one to talk about myself very openly, so it's hard when I'm given the oportunity.

It's late and the pillow beckons. Good night wishes to you.

Last Words From This Foreign Land

Goodbye China! Goodbye my students! Goodbye my new friends! Goodbye moldy apartment! Goodbye sweet vendor ladies! Goodbye fresh mangoes, lychees, longans, etc! Goodbye to all that has been my reality for the last 10 months.

Hello Home! Hello family and friends! Hello bills, loans and car payments! Hello culture that I understand! Hello comfort foods! Hello Mexian food, fresh baked bread, BBQed chicken, and pizza! Hello old/ new reality.

Today's the day I fly home. Only a couple more hours and I will begin the long journey. I have packed my bags (mamamia!) and cleaned my place. I will be traveling for something like 32 hours! I have four different flights and and super long over night layover in LA.

Keep my in your prayers if you would for protection. The Lord's been faithful to me throughout this entire trip. I know his faithfulness endures. He's so good to me. I am so undeserving.

Brenda and I spent the day together yesterday just shopping, eating, hanging out. Ate at some of our favorite places one last time. Then we watched a movie while she finished up packing. She left early this morning.

I didn't get much sleep the past two nights, yet I feel pretty good and energetic. Maybe it's adrenaline from all the moving. The night before I was restless so I watched a movie til super late. Then lasst night I had a million mosquitos buzzing around me. So about 3 in the morning I was wide away chasing them down and killing as many as I could. It might be a good thing that I haven't slept much, that way I might be able to sleep better on the plane and maybe I will adjust to the time change quicker. We shall see.

I can't wait to see all my family and friends. I'm courious to find out what my life will be like from here on. I guess it's time to pack up the computer. Thanks for reading all this time. I hope I was able to share my experiences with you in a meaningful way. The next time I write here, I may be in the US! I don't think it's hit me yet. It hasn't sunk in that I am leaving and might never come back here, and might never see my Chinese friends and students again. Like I always like to say... Life is strange stuff.

Stuff up the WahZooo!

It is really embarassing how much stuff I have accumulated. I can't believe it. I honestly didn't really realize until I started to pack up my stuff and found that I had to send another box home or I wouldn't have made it. I am making a promise to myself that I will never do this again. What I mean is, I will never accumulate so much stuff on an overseas trip again. I think I went a little overboard. Yikes. Just this morning I went out with Brenda cuz she told me about this really cute fairly cheap place to buy traditional Chinese looking clothes, and I bought some more things. Then I started packing and, woa. When its spread all over my apartment it didn't seem like much. But trying to fit it all in a couple suitcases is quite the task. I'm worried about being overweight and having to pay airport fees. Would the Lord honor a prayer for weightlessness after my splurging?

Yesterday was my last day of teaching. I was determined to spend it well. It really was a nice day up until the end. I was surrounded by my students. Most of them had no idea I was leaving so soon and that I wouldn't be back. So just a few who really have taken the time to get to know me made it a point to seek me out throughout the day. The last class still was challenging. When it was over I was relieved. But at the same time I love these kids. My last thing at school was to be English corner. I had prepared a nice time. We were going to play a game and chat and take pictures. I was really looking foward to it as were the students who would go. As we walked to the English Corner classroom, about five students and I, we had a great time chatting and lauging together. I was getting really excited to make one last memory here with them. As we entered the classroom, there sat Lillian. In her perky manipulative voice she told us that she is cancelling english corner so I could help her translate something. What a kill joy. I was so angry. I told her that this is my last day and I want to spend it with the students not being used by the school. This was the last thing I wanted to be doing. So she smiled and said, oh! ok! I'll give you 20 minutes. Oh my goodness. I wanted to cry. And so did the students. I wanted so much to tell her off and refuse, but I didn't want to make a scene in front of the students and cause anyone to lose face. I was mad and she knew it. But she didn't seem to give a darn. All she was thinking about was getting her stupid translation thing done. So the kids and I took some pictures and said goodbye. And off I went to be a schmuck, a doormat, a chump, a pushover. Gotta love the thesaurus. They've never asked me to help them with translations before until this day. Anyother day I would have been happy too. Arg.

I really want to see a couple students before I go, like over the weekend. But there are so many things going on. And Arthur and Anna are leaving tomorrow morning and I'd like to say goodbyes to them too. It will be nice to be home where I can just crash when all these goodbyes are over.

I keep thinking of ways that this whole experience could have been better. I mean, how could I have made more of this time. I should have prayed more. I should have taken more pictures. I should have spent more time outside of my apartment. I should have been more open about my faith. I should have taken more chances like eating crazier things, going parasailing, taking the train. I should have taken more time to spend with my students. I should have done more physically active things. I should have taken more initiative in making friends. I should have learned more Chinese. I should have bought less!
I think these are my only regrets.

So I went to the post office today to mail one last box. I think the worker girl there was new because she was slow as ever. The last few boxes I've mailed went smoothly and fairly quickly. But this girl was so slow and so ditsy it was taking forever. I am so glad that this will be my last trip to one of the worst places in China... the post office.

While Brenda and I were out this morning we took some snap shots of the lovely faces we see everyday along the street. Then we had them printed out and gave them each their own picture. It was so cute! They loved it. Like Brenda said, this is the best gift we could give them. They are so great.

A'Tad

I promised Eva I'd write every day til I went home, but it's already past midnight and I haven't found the time to write a propper post. Hopefully tomorrow I can share more. I have so much to do and so many people want to see me before I go. I feel pulled in a hundred different directions. I've got to get some rest. Good night.

Saying a Thousand Goodbyes (at least)

Some Students and me from Class 19
It's been such a sad and busy week. Every time I go into a class I know it is the last time. So every day is a last time. The last couple days I have stayed at the school and had lunch with my students in the school cafeteria. So we just hang out and chat.
Tuesday night the school took us out for a farewell dinner. We went to a nice place and ordered to our hearts desire. Grace, Maggie, Mark and one of the vice principals were there with Brenda, Arthur, Anna, and me. Brenda brought her laptop and showed a slide show of some of the pictures I have taken throughout the past year. The principal asked us many questions about how we thought of the school and the students, and they thanked us for our work. Then they gave us each a parting gift... these really funny kung fu figurines.
Each day as I get closer to going home I feel sadder and sadder, yet more excited! It's the weirdest feeling. I'm so excited to go home, yet so sad to leave.
I've been really busy trying to get my things together and sort through things. I had a huge pile of stuff that I knew I wasn't going to take home so I let maggie rummage through it and she took most of it, which is great. She's like me, hates to see anything go to waste. It's so hard to believe that tomorrow is my last day of teaching. And that in 4 days I will be going home. The feeling that I might never come back here or see these people again is really sad.

I'm sorry, I feeling like I'm really depressing right now. Ok, happy thoughts. I had such fun in class today. We are playing "Dice of Fortune." It's like Wheel of Fortune only with dice as you may have guessed. It's such fun. They really get into it, especially when we play boys vs. girls.

Tonight we may go to the HaiBin hotel one last time for a swim in the spa. Most of my time before I leave is already booked with things to do and people to see.

When Brenda gets back from class today her and I are going to go to all our usual spots and take photos of the great shopkeepers that we see everday, and the ladys on the street where we buy our veggies. They have the best faces and sweetest smiles. Most of them probably never get their picture taken. So we're going to get the pictures all printed out and give them a copy. They'll love it.

The Beginning of the End

Wow. It's the beginning of the end. This is my last week. today I taught three classes for the very last time. It kind of felt like any other day. I thought the kids might make something more of it, but nothing really. It's not like I'm going to throw myself a goodbye party. So we took some pictures and played a game. And that was that. It's hard to know what they're thinking when they're all together like that. It's when I talk to them outside of class that I find out how they really feel.
I spent all of Saturday cleaning my place and kinda putting things together for packing. I still have so much stuff. I can't believe how much I've accumulated.
I know more happened this weekend, I just can't think right now. My stomach is still feeling queezy. Brenda suggested I go on a liquid diet and give my digestive system a break. She's probably right, but I'm so hungry!
It hasn't been easy to be with her as much as I am. She's the most cynical and ethnocentric person I've ever met. I just put up with it cuz I have no one else to hang out with. She's really cool otherwise and I'll miss her. But it's also going to be refreshing to be away from her. I feel aweful saying it, but it's true.
Sunday night we went to Lillian's home again to make zongzi. Her mother taught us how to make. You put rice, bean, peanut, meat, or whatever you want into bamboo leaves and fold it up tightly, then preasure cook them for and half hour. Yummy. It was a nice time. She has a really nice family. Here's some pictures of us making zongzi, and the finished products wrapped up. They're really good, trust me.
Just got back from shopping with Lillian. She was helping me find some things. It's a great night. The weather is so hot during the day, so it's great when it cools off a little in the evening.
Please pray for my friend who was in a bad car accident. My mind is even more set on home.

Queezie

This week's been great so far. But I'm sad. These kids are making me so sad! When I tell them I'm going home soon they ask why. Then they get really sad and that makes me sad. Some even got upset. Like I'm stabbing them in the back or something. It's so hard! Like I said, loyaly is so huge here. People stay in the same place, have the same relationships, and have the same job for their entire lives. It's really hard for them to have someone come and go. I feel so terrible. Ok, so it's not all of them. Just a few. The majority just say we'll miss you. And then there are a few that could care less. But some classes have been so incredibly sweet to me. On Wednesday class 15 gave their performances, and did such a great job. Some groups sang songs like Backstreet Boys. They were so cute. This one boy got really into in and was singing at the top of his lungs and putting all this feeling into it. And the rest of the class was swaying back and forth like a concert. It was so cute. Another group, after singing, gave a little speach about how they love me. awe. so sweet. And another group was so funny. Their performance was based on some famous Chinese movie. Some guy died, and they made a chalk line around the body. They took a fake photo with a camera they made with cardboard and a toilet paper roll and fixed it up so you pull this string and a fake picture comes out that they drew. They gave me the picture and a lei they made. They're so great.

I replaced the USB flash disc I lost with another. But now I come to find they want the same exact one. And so it's going to cost me a lot of money. It's really frustrating. I can't believe I lost it. I hardly ever lose things. Just the important things I guess. Sheesh.

I feel so strange these days. I don't know how to describe it. It's such a weird feeling to know I'm not going to be here anymore. It makes me really sad. I really am excited to come home. So these feelings are so so strange.

Today was the first time I've really felt sick here. As soon as I got on the school bus something wasn't right with my stomach. It's been hurting ever since. It's really sensitive and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's nerves from all this moving home stuff. Who knows.

Strange Stuff

Let's begin with the first thing on my mind right now... bugs. Holy buckets they are sick. I was on the phone with my friend Danni when all of the sudden in a split second my entire place was filled with at least a million of those mayfly-type bugs!! They must've hatched or something. But it was so freakie!!!! I couldn't stop freaking out. It was like a surprize attack. We've figured out that they like light. So I turned off all my lights and left my door open so they'd follow the light into the hallway. It took about a half hour to get the situation kind of under control. In the dark I could hear their buzzing and it was so gross. It's like a bad dream. I took a peak out in the hall, and I could hardly see to the other side the bugs were so thick swarming around. Wow. So nasty. I called Brenda and she had them too. Now it's the morning after and there are bug wings and carcases all over the floor. Gross.
I killed my first cockroach today. Go me! Usually they freak me out too bad, so I make someone else do it for me, or I just sheepishly let it win the standoff and I run away. I've turned into such a sissy. But today I knew if I didn't get this guy I'd be dealing with his billions of offspring.
Another bugger has been the mosquitos. I check my place before I go to bed and it all seems clear. But as soon as that light goes off, it's like they all come out of hiding and buzz around your ears so there's no chance of getting a good nights sleep. One morning I woke up with five fattened-up mosquitos inside my mosquito net. They can get in somehow, but they can get out. They're easier to kill when their all fed-up anyway. So I just tell them to do their worst and stop buzzing in my ears so I can sleep. They'll just get it in the morning.

Well, last week was a doosey. I had given the students the previous two weeks of class time to work on their performances. So come performance day, so many of them were like, "Miss Leah, we're not ready, can we go next week." At first I was merciful, but then it just got annoying. So towards the end of the week I started to get tough. Some classes were such a delight, though! Some classes really had fun with this. That's what it was supposed to be! They did awesome jobs, and I am way way proud of them. There are those who I know their spoken English isn't great, but they still tried. Then there are those who I know can speak fairly well, but put zero effort into this and came up with a pathetic display. I was really disappointed in them. So it was such a crazy week with highs and lows. I wish I could remember all of the performances. I wish I had a video camera at times like these. Some classes, the kids gave me their script, so I can share with you a couple of the performances just to get an idea what it's like. They are so funny when the kids get into it and do the voices and actions. I will post it here word for word, mistakes and all:

Team Name: Window Shopping
Title: Cinderella
Backgroud: long long ago, there was a ball held by a princess in downtown. That night, a prince lost his ball-shoes on the stairs. Princess picked up the shoe and made up her mind to find the prince. So she took the shoe house to house. One day she came to the prince's house finally.
Servant 1: Is anyone here?
Step-Father: Who? Don't knock at the door so loudly! (open the door)
Servant2: Morning! Gentlemen! Our princess is looking for the man who lost the sport-shoes. Every man has a chance to try it on. If it's suitable for you, you can get married to our beautiful princess! (princess comes into)
Step-Father: Welcome! Welcome! Or beautiful princess! I'm sure that my son can try the shoes on! Come on, deer. (to elder brother) Cinderella, go back to the kitchen!
Princess: Oh, no! Please let him stay here. Everyone has the chance!
Step-Father: Well! If so, you just stay here.
(brother sits down, he is ready to try the shoes on)
Servant 1: Please!
Elder Brother: How cheap the shoes are! Oh, no! They are too small for me to try them on.
Step-Father: Oh, my dear! I can't believe that. Dear, try your best again! Now that let me have a try too.
Servant 2: No! No! you can't try the shoes. You're so old!
Princess: Let him have a try. (towards Cinderella)
Cinderella: A worn-out shoes. I think it must be the shoe which I lost last night. The princess is so strange! Why not buy a new one. I want a pair of new shoes. I want Addidas! Nothing is impossible! (Cinderella takes off his shoes)
All: How foul his feet are!
Cinderella: Don't say so. I'll be sad. Look! How fit for me the shoes are! Now, I can get married to my beautiful princess!
(Princess falls in a faint)
Background: not long after they married, princess demanded to divorce because prince not only had a hong-kong foot, but also that there was stench came from him! He didn't sleep at night, didn't keep awake in daytime! Just ate and did nothing, searched the internet, met lots of girls! His lovest white horse was so dirty that became a black horse!
End

[ok, so they are a little crazy.]

Team Name: Capucino
Title: The Legend of Human and the Wolf
Long long ago, Red cap and his grandmother lived in a peaceful forest. Because of the drought, there is no food to be found in the forest. Until one day, Red cap's grandmother went out to pick mushrooms. she met a big wolf which had searching for the food for it's son.
W:Grandma, nice to meet you!
G: Nice to meet you.
W: are you searching for something to eat, too?
G: Yes, I got some mushrooms. But it's not enough to eat. My grandson is very hungry now.
W: I know. My son is also hungry at home now.
G: Oh! I have an idea! I can be your son's food. and you must take care of my grandson!
W: What! (very shock) OK, let's go!
So the grandma went to the wolf's nest to be the little wolf's food. Red cap was very sad when he knew this news. After a few years, both red cap and the little wolf grew up. One day there is a hunter breaking in the forest. He killed many animals include the big wolf. Whith the help of mother little wolf ran away. At this time he met the broken hearted boy, Red cap.
Red: Oh! you're a wolf! I will kill you!
Little Wolf: No! You look at me carefully, can you see something!?
R: I see some ocular secret.
LW: No, do you remember the old wolf? I am her son.
R: Oh! I know you! Nice to meet you!
LW: Let's drive the hunter out of the forest!
R: Let's go!
Hunter: Ha-ha! I'm a great hunter. I want to kill more animals to make more money!
R&LW: Don't move, hang up! Get out of our forest, or I will kill you!
H: Stop! I'll go by my self.
They drove off the hunter out of the forest and lived happily.

So there's an idea of some of the better skits.

Friday was the most interesting day. I was really encouraged by the morning classes, they were so so great. On group did the piece from the Sound of Music where she teaches the Vanderbelt children how to sing. It's like speaking and singing intertwined.. Doe a deer and female deer, etc. They were soooo great! It was all choreographed and everything. They were definitely the best so far. But then cam Friday afternoon. I knew they would be a challenge, because this class always is. But this time it was utter chaos. I could not get them to sit down and shut up. They were all over the place like it was free time or something. Kids were listening to their music, walking all around, chatting, wrestling with their buddies. It was so out of control. I had it up to here with trying to get them to cooperate, so I picked up my things and started heading out the door. It was the last place on earth I wanted to be. That place was beyond fixing with my puny words. As I walked out, only one boy noticed, and he asked me where I was going. I just said out. And he got really sincere, and was like... ok just give us 10 minutes to get ready for our performance! So I said alright and waited there very stern staring at my watch. The tone of the class slowly began to change as they started to realize how really really ticked off I was. Only two groups presented then. And it was a very sorry sight. I know these kids. They are great kids. They love talking to me. I know what they are capable of. I was very disappointed. After the sad performances. I knew I had to say something. So I gave them a bit of a lecture. This is the first time I have been so disappointed and angry with these kids. And they knew it. And they needed to hear it. After class a couple of the girls came to me appologizing and told me that the Chinese teachers say the same things about this class. So I know it isn't just me. One girl in that class has been a good friend to me this year, and I knew she was ashamed because usually she loves to chat with me after class, but I only saw her with her head on her desk. Ayekarumba. Afterwards I felt so bad! I kept having to remind myself that I am in the right! It's so difficult for me to be so confrontational and to cause anyone to feel badly. I know that hearing it from me was different then hearing it from their Chinese teachers. They expect it from them. So I really hope that next time they can shape up a bit. They will be my last class ever here, so I want it to end well.

We had English corner again, and this time Brenda led it. I just joined for fun. And it was really nice. The most memorable thing about it was when Amy spoke. We were all telling something about ourselves. And she told everyone something that I had told her in a letter. You know we have been writing notes back and forth for a few weeks. A while back I asked her if she believed in God and she replied that she hated God because he cheated her. Supposedly He told her she'd get a good grade on an exam, but she ended up failing. So I wrote to her telling her that we don't alway understand his ways. Like a storm, sometimes it seems terrible and like it causes harm, but in the end helps things to grow... something like that. And I told her that he really does care about her and her grades and that he loves her. So in English corner, she told everyone that God cares about her! It was so so so great! She was looking at me when she was sharing all these things and smiling. And I could have cared less who was listening or what they thought, because it was such a precious thing that just happened! I am so blessed to know that the Lord has revealed his love to her. Please keep prayin for Amy.

The weekend was very busy. I spent some time with my students shopping, taking photos, and hanging out. They are so fun. We went to this part of the shopping center that I'd never seen before. It was the music section. They have sound proof rooms you can rent to play piano. So bummer, I couldn't have been playing piano all year if I knew that! They asked me to play them something, but I have pretty much lost anything I had. So sad. It was neat to see all the traditional Chinese instruments there along side the electric guitars and drums.
Sunday I met some other students at McDonalds at 8am. On a Sunday, waking up at 7am feels more like 5am. So I wasn't good for much the whole rest of the day. I was so exhasted. We ate McD's for breakfast, then went to the public library to use the internet. Then we did a little shopping, and taking some of those little sticker photos. They love it. The girls who ran the little photo shop really wanted to take pictures with me too. They were so giddy when I agreed. Funny. Later we had lunch at "Tracy's" house. Her mom made a great meal. Shrimp, clams, jellyfish, dumplings, noodles, soup, vegies, and a special chicken (special cuz it had never laid any eggs in its life). But it was pretty quiet, cuz they didn't know how to talk to me really. And I was so tired. So I watched them play video games. They had the first Mario Brothers! Finally I went home and took a nice long nap before another dinner date...
Sunday night was a lot of fun. Brenda and I were invited to a Chinese English teacher's house (Lillian). Lillian is married to "Golden" who is a hear doctor, and they have a ten year old son, "Sterling."She had one of her old friends come too, along with her eight year old daughter, "Grace". We had another fabulous meal. Brenda and I fixed a good ol' fashion salad with lettuce, carrot, onion, and tomato. Brenda even mixed up her own vinagarett. This was a new experience for them, and they really liked it! Lillian made some great fish, shrimp, soup, vegies, and dumplings. For desert Brenda fixed the kids PBJ's. This was a new experience for them, too, and they loved it! After dinner the kids put on an English music video, and we taught them the electric slide and macarena! What a riot. I brought my cards, so we taught them how to play Uno. What fun. They caught on really quick and it was a blast. The kids were halarious. The whole gang has extremely healthy lungs, so it was so loud! Little Grace was so fired up.
After that Sterling demonstrated his mad yo-yo skills. That kid is gooood.
Then Golden made us some really great tea and we chatted a bit til it was late and we had to go home. They sent us home with a big bag full of fresh picked leechees and Sterling gave us one of his yo-yos. Good times.

I have finally finished my Teaching Summary. As foreign English teachers we were required to write a teaching summary of the past year. I had kept track of all my lesson plans, so it was such a time saver to be able to cut and paste. We're to put the summaries on this USB flash disc drive that belongs to the school. Brenda put her's on there then gave it to me, but I lost it!!! I can't find it anywhere. Yikes. So I think I have to buy a new one. Dang.

Brenda's been sick on and off for the past couple weeks. She's had ear aches, stomach aches, head aches, sinus problems, bronchitis threats, and more. So ya'll praying for me, thank you so much! I know if it weren't for your prayers, I'd be in no better shape then her. The Lord is so good to me!

I'm trying to think of something really nice to do with the students for the last week of class. Can you believe it! I have only a week and a half left. Wowzers. Most of the time I am really looking foward to coming home. But the other night I was thinking a lot about the changes, adjustments, etc. and of all the things that I'm really going to miss... and I got really sad! For the first time I was feeling anxiety about coming home. There are some thing that I am not looking foward to, and things that I'm really going to miss here. I wish I could have the best of both worlds. It is really like being in two different worlds. I wish I could buy my vegies from these sweet ladies on the street. I wish I could have my family and friends close, as well as my students and friends here. I wish I could have a great body of believers to fellowship with, then go out for lunch at some road side dumpling shop. I wish I didn't have to worry about paying bills or buying gas or working 9-5.

Life is strange stuff.

Whadaweek

I have a lot to say about this past week. But I'm in this net bar, cuz our internet's been down all week, and it's so very uncomfortable in here. I hope i don't forget all i want to say. So many interesting things are happening. I feel like I've gotten to know my students better in this past week then I have the entire past year. So it's becoming more bitter-sweet to say goodbye to them. This weekend I have plans to spend time with some of my studeents. One has invited me to her home for lunch.

Well, I've been here a while now and my clothes are probably saturated with cigarett smells. yuck yuck yuck. And my eyes are burning. More lata.

Cheers

Shots Fired

Brenda and I on the swinging benches on the ship


Brenda flying our kite


The Children's Day dinner


This is a mushroom that grew on the first floor stairwell of our apartments. This just goes to show how dank, dark, damp, and "sporey" our living conditions are!! It's a cute little guy, though.

 

Go Fly A Kite

Thursday was Children's day. I had dinner with a woman (Susan) and nine 10 year olds. I met Susan a while back. She runs a weekend English school. The 9 kids were her best students and her daughter. They were selected as excellent students and given an invitation to have dinner with a "foreigner"--me. And for them, this is a huge deal. I felt really odd, though, because they as their guest of honor they ordered me a ton of the most expensive food, which there was no way I'd ever eat it all. And every one else just got normal stuff. I hate being singled out like that and treated differently. But what can ya do? So I just gotta suck it up and be grateful for a nice meal that I don't have to pay for. It was at the "Western" resteraunt called "California Sunshine." But the Western food is not at all like we eat. I think it's cuz they serve steaks and fries there and offer forks instead of chopsticks. It's the same idea as Chinese food in America is nothing like the food is really like here. The kids didn't really talk to me the whole time, I'm sure it's cuz they have no idea what to say. But I tried to talk a little to them. I guess it was just cool to be seen with me, they didn't seem to be interested in talking to me. So I kinda just ate my meal and watched them play. But kids are cool. It was fine.

Friday I was to be in charge of English corner. We were supposed to have English corners throughout the year, but no one scheduled any until the very last minute. They probably thought, oh... we should probably do that now that there are only 4 weeks left. So now we're supposed to have one every Friday til the end. It's all good. It's basically a free talk time. I did prepare some conversation starters incase they had trouble thinking of what to say. I told them to chat with eachother and I would walk around, and if anyone spoke chinese I would take their picture. It was kinda fun. But they expect too much from me, cuz they're not used to free talk like that. I didn't want it to be like another class where I am up front and everyone pays attention to me. But it's so hard for them to get out of that rut and think that life can be another way. So I just chatted with them, and tried to make it non-class like. It was harder then I expected. But whatever. Thankfully there were only like 25 kids there, so it was a super small group, which was so nice. Isn't it amazing that I think 25 people is a small group. I'm used to 60.

Saturday I decided to fly the kite that Brenda gave me for my birthday. It was a super nice day. First her and I had a bite to eat. The best thing to drink these days has been iced lemon tea. It's so wonderful after walking in this scorching heat. The park we wanted to fly the kite in was pretty far away. Along the way, we stopped at the big ship. I have told about it before. It's an old Japanese cruise liner that somehow the Chinese took posession of and now it's like half in the water, half sunk into the beach. They use it for tourism and there's a restaraunt there. It was on this ship that I got the call about Nigel's death. I hadn't been there since. It was Brenda's first time. We found a spot on the front deck with swinging benches. So we sat swinging and talking for like an hour. It was so nice. It was such a beautiful relaxing day. From there we went to the kite park. There were like 100 other people there flying their kites. We are usually pestered a lot by people staring, watching us, or making us out to be a freak show for their entertainment... so I was kinda expecting it to be like that. But it was so wonderful, we just flew our kite like normal people, and most people minded their own business. It was a miracle! It's really hard to express how truly great that feels to be treated normal. Our kite was kinda weird, though. It didn't want to go as high as everyone elses. But it was fun, nonetheless. We saw some really cool kites. One kite was the coolest I have ever seen in my life. It makes my heart giddy just thinking about how totally cool it was! I tried to take a picture, but it's really blah. So wait til I get home and I'll show you the video clip. Hey, that won't be such a long way away!
On our way home we took a side street we'd never been on before. We found the cutest basket shop ever! That makes me excited to! The baskets were sooo adorable. I wish I could have them all. Then we had dinner at another "Western" restaraunt, and this time drank lemongrass tea, which is so wonderful! And there we met an older guy from Iowa! It was fun talking to another mid-westerner... there's just something about mid-westerners, where we all just kinda "get" eachother. He's was probably a widower who met this Chinese lady he was with over the internet. It's a very common story. The woman's son goes to our school and might be one of my students!

Sunday, Brenda and I went out again. It was even hotter outside. We went back to the basket shop and had some fun. We drank more iced tea. We did some grocery shopping. And ... yeah, this is really kind of gross, but we happened to pass by two different grown men going number 2. What are the chances. Yeah, they weren't tryin to hide themselves at all, so it's not like we were looking for these kinds of things. Gross. Sometimes it feels like I'm in civilization and sometimes it feels like I'm no where near.

Every night at 10:30, the gaurds lock up all the steel gates around the school. You know that creaky door sound in scarry movies? It's like that, only it echos throughout the entire campus and goes on for about 15 minutes. creeeeeeeeeeeak...creeeeeeeeeeak. Eerie. Every night.

My Great Great Aunt Edna passed away one week ago today. She lived to the grand old age of 110. I praise the Lord he has brought her peacefully into his presence. He is truly good, isn't he? I am reading about the life of David now. I am so encouraged by his confidence in the love of God for himself. May our loving Lord come soon, so that we can join Aunt Edna in His sweet presence.

Have You Had Your ZongZe Today?

Today is the Chinese Dragon Boat Festival. It's really not that big of a deal in Zhanjiang. Basically the only way people celebrate is by eating zongze. It's this flavored sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves and steamed. There are many different kinds. My students gave me some as a gift, so I got to try it for the first time. It's pretty good, and really gooey. They said that every one must eat at least one zongze on this day. The reason they celebrate this day is actually really sad. They celebrate to honor some guy who committed suicide. In some dynasty hundreds of years ago, this famous poet tried to stop a war by pleading with the emperor, but the emperor wouldn't listen to his ideas of peace. So the poet got really upset and drown himself in some river, which is now super famous. The people didn't want the fish to eat his body, so they threw zongze into the river so the fish would eat that instead. The reason it's called Dragon Boat festival, apparently is because some guys in boats searched and searched for his body which was never found. So now, they have boat races on this famous river.

This weeks lessons are just preparation for the students Final project. Next week they will do their English performances. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. I've already started to get good-bye gifts from the students. They are super sweet.

Tonight I went and bought this really cute skirt that I found in a shop. It's so far the most expensive thing I've bought. But I figured it was worth it, because it will always remind me of China.

Tomorrow is international Children's day. Has anyone heard of it? I never have. But they like to make it a big deal here. I was asked to have dinner by a couple different people. But first come first serve. I will have dinner with a Chinese woman that I met a while back and a few of her students. They are so cute, only about 8 years old. It's nice to hang out with the little ones now and then.

Friday I am in charge of an English Corner. We were supposed to have English corners every Friday, but it never happened. So now it's like they are trying to squeeze them in before the term ends. It will be fun, though, I think. It's going to be only 50 of the top students in the grade. So it should be a breeze. I'm looking forward to it.


Can any one help me out with song lyrics. I've had this stuck in my head, but can't remember the rest:
My lips will praise you, for you are lovely.
My heart will ever bow before your throne....

I had an interesting conversation with some students. They were looking at an English magazine (the kind written for English learners) and the title of a story was "Things I have Learnt." Is learnt a word? I have never seen it before. So I told them I didn't think it was a word, and they disagreed with me. They even looked it up in their electronic dictionary and it was there! I was shocked!

Well, the spider has gone. But this does not comfort me at all, because it just means that it's on the move. Ewe. Anna asked me how much money it would take for me to sit in a small room with a thousand of those spiders. Then we got to talking about the TV show "Fear Factor." And how they eat disgusting things on that show. But then we realized it was basically Chinese cuisine. They seriously eat everything.

Tomorrow will be June! Unbelievable.

Eight Looooong hairy legs

Wow. Another great thing to keep me from sleeping at night... Coming home this evening we were stomping on the floor before going up the stairs, as we usually do to scare away any rats that might pop out to frighten us. First we saw a little cockroach, which Arthur flicked in my direction, then stomped on. So my nerves were already strung from that little experience. Then we saw it... the biggest ewe spider ewe that ewe I've ewe ever ewe seen... ewe. I'm getting the willies just thinking about it. Oh my goodness. It was so huge. And it's on the second floor. I hope it doesn't decide to make its way up to the sixth floor. But just the knowledge of its existence makes me believe there are others just like it roaming around. Oh, it's so gross.

Here are some going-ons:

I booked my flight home, I depart June 26. But I don't know when I'll arrive yet, cuz the travel agent here was not able to help me with any US domestic flights. So he got me as far as LA. So I have to figure out how to get from LA home with the tickets that I've already purchased. I'm not too worried about it. I'll make it somehow.

Friday night we were invited to a piano concert at a local university. Arthur and Anna's good friends are the teachers. They come from Russia. They teach piano through an interpreter. The concert was piano duets from the students, the teacher couple and their kids. They were amazing. It was so wonderful to hear them play. And the kids were also amazing. Alex is 13 or 14 and Marsha is 7. They did a piano duet together, and totally surpass any thing that I was ever able to do on the piano. Alex did a solo, and I swear he must be a child prodigy. It helps that both his parents are enormously talented. How do I describe the perfection? I'm so jealous! It was great. There were many other foreigners there from other schools to watch the concert. I was not talkative at all, and kept to myself. I could give you all kinds of excuses like I was tired, and Brenda had gone off on me earlier so I was miffed... which those are true... but most of all, I just felt absolutely nothing in common with these people, and didn't feel comfortable with them at all. When foreigners (caucasian English speakers that is) get together, it's usually this big China bashing session to complain about all the things that annoy them. It's so exhasting. I'm sure you're wondering why they are even here at all. When it all comes down to it, they like being here, they like talking bad about China, they like teaching these kids.

This weeks lessons was an introduction to the Final Project. I will be grading the students on an English performance. The grade won't count for peanuts, but hopefully the thought of getting a grade will give them some motivation. This is the first time that I have told the students that I will not be coming back next term. They are pretty sad. Some even named their teams "We love you Leah" or the topic of their performance, "We will miss you." They are so cute.

This morning I hung out with one of my students. She bought me breakfast. Real wontons. They are not at all like the wontons in the States. They are steemed and have meet inside, and in a peanut sauce. They were pretty good. We watched a korean movie together. It was a super cute movie. I had a nice time with her. She is one of the closest students I have.

This evening was really nice. We foreign teachers organized a dinner at a restaraunt and invited several of the Chinese teachers who have helped us throughout the year. It was a really nice time. We rented a private room, and ordered a ton of food. I tried to take a picture, but my batteries died. I think all my rechargeable batteries have lost their juice.

It's almost midnight now, and I have to teach bright and early. Only four more weeks to go. It seems like this last couple months is going so slow. But I'm sure it will all be over before I know it, and I will miss it like crazy. I can't imagine never coming back here. I really want to visit again some time. You can't just live somewhere and not have some attatchment to the people and the place. I won't miss the mold or the cockroaches or that spider... that's for sure. But this is a life that has become a part of me. It's kinda going to stink not being able to share that with any one at home. See, that's why next time one of ya'll are going to have to come with me, so we could reminice together like, "remember that one time in China..."

Good night.

Light at the end of the Tunnel

It's official! Our last day of teaching is June 23rd. So I've only got five weeks left. So I will probably be home before July.
Brenda had this awesome idea for the last few weeks of school. We both agreed that we'd like to assess them in some way, and give them some kind of final exam. So we have it all planned out for the rest of our time here! This week we are going to get them into teams, and they have to come up with an idea for a team presentation. Every one is required to participate. So the next 2 weeks they will be creating a performance to be done in English, and we'll grade them as a team. Two weeks after that will be spent in performances. Hopefully they won't find out that this doesn't count in their final grades, otherwise they won't take it seriously. I really want them to work at this and do their best. I wish our English class counted for something in that regard.
The last week will be spent in saying goodbyes, taking pictures, maybe playing a game. I am still trying to think of something that I can do for them. It's not easy when there's 1,000 students to consider.

Yesterday Arthur, Anna, Brenda and I went to the beach. It's about an hour away by bus. The day before was so nice, but this day was really windy and a little rainy. So it wasn't great for swimming. But it was nice to just relax at the beach and hear the waves roll in. Since the weather wasn't great the beach wasn't crowded, nice and quiet. I bought a cool shell from a shopkeeper. I put it in my fish tank, and my fish really like it. It's big enough for them to hide under.

I've been weighing my choices of things I could do when I come home. And I've made a decision. I have decided to move to North Carolina. I feel the Lord calling me to once again get out of my comfort zone and look to him for securities. If I stayed home I could pretty much picture exactly how my life would be. I think a little unknown-ness is good for the spirit. Going to NCarolina I don't know what I'd do for work. I don't know anyone but Joe and Eva. I don't know how I'm going to get around (no car). There's always a bit of anxiety going into the unknow. But that's just a sign to trust Him more. I don't want to forget to trust Him. And when I'm too comfortable, I tend to do that. I love you all so much. At least in NCarolina I'll be on the same side of the planet!

I Noticed

My mind has been on home a lot as you know. And as I come closer and closer to the day that I will actually leave here, I feel my eyes opening up a little more. I grew accustomed to my surrounding and nothing stuck out to me, but now I think--" I might never see these things again!"
So here's a bit of China that struck me the past few days:

On my way home from school one day, the bus had to stop for a cattle crossing. It was a seemingly most-unlikely place for a cattle crossing. We are near the sea almost smack dab in the middle of the city... and out of no where all these cows appear on the highway as their herder dude smacks them allong with a bamboo rod. I can only assume they were headed for the little river that ran through the city. Maybe it's their only source for fresh water for the cows.

On the bus today there was this old woman, mayber in her 70's. But you could just tell that she must have been such a beauty in her day. Her eyes still sparkled, she had a beautiful smile and the cutest smile wrinkles around her eyes, high cheek bones, full lips, defined facial features. I couldn't stop looking at her! She had such a beautiful face! I hope I preserve that well. he he.

When I got off the bus I still have a ways to walk before I reach my appartment, and it's always a chance to see interesting little "crazinesses" that I'm positive I'll never see in the States. Like a little boy going potty on the sidewalk. This is actually so common here, accepted, expected. But this particular little guy was making/ guiding a little river just for fun. Maybe it's a guy thing that I just never got. He was totally just playing. It weirded me out. Later on I saw more of the White Truck police confiscated somemore livelihoods. You better not get caught trying to sell your stuff on the sidewalk or they'll take it all away. And just a bit ago I saw a guy killing a chicken.

Last night I didn't get much sleep. I'm kinda running on empty lately. But there were these weird bugs in my room. They were something like mayflies. I killed as many as I could because I wasn't too thrilled about the 500 of them that were in my room. Hopefully they won't be around every night.

Today was the first time I observed a Chinese teacher's English class. Each new teacher is required to have an open lesson in order to be evaluated. She did very well. I was especially impressed with the way she spoke English 95% of the time. I know some English teachers whose English is really poor. It wasn't as rigid as I imagined a Chinese ran lesson to be. But I'm sure the English classes are more influenced by Western style teaching than other classes might be. They really dig the lecture style most of the time. I took it also as an oportunity to observe pronunciation troubles more closely. If the teacher is making certain pronunciation mistakes, it's gauranteed that the student will learn the same mistakes.

Tomorrow is Dream's Birthday. So I made a print of a photo of her and I, and bought a cute frame to put it in. I'm sure she'll love it.

PEAcE!!

Watermelon Tacos?

Friday night Brenda took me to a new part of town. She knows of a wholesale place where you can find rare foods like olives, whipped cream, tuna... I wanted to buy some cheese. This other part of town is not at all far from where we live. I can't believe I'd never been there before. But it was like a whole other world. The streets were very narrow and it was definitely an older part of town. There were even some old buildings left from when the French occupied in the 1800's. When we finally found the wholesale store, they showed us their English inventory list and I asked for the Mozzarella. Wowzers. They brought out this huge block of frozen cheese. It had to have been like 20 lbs. There is no way I'd ever eat all that, so I just skipped it. It probably wouldn't do my tummy much good anyhow.

The main reason I wanted the cheese was for tacos! Saturday I planned to have a couple of my students over for lunch and I was making tacos. One girl, Lucy, wants to learn to speak Spanish, so I thought it would be fun for her to try some Mexican food. I spent all morning shopping and preparing beans, meat, vegies, rice, and homemade tortillas. I let Lucy and Lilly fry the tortillas. It was a lot of fun. They don't really know anything about cooking. They didn't even know how to make rice! So it was fun to show them some things. They really enjoyed the food. Lilly said she wanted to make the meal for her mother on mother's day. So I gave her an extra package of taco seasoning that ya'll so graciously sent me. It was a nice time. Lilly was really enjoying the beans. So I taught them the "beans, beans the magical fruit" song. he he he. It was so funny to watch them try to eat tacos. They couldn't figure out how to eat with out making a huge mess, and they eventually started using chopsticks! I had set a bowl of watermellon out to eat as a side dish with the tacos. But Lucy and Lilly must have assumed that they were to go inside the taco allong with all the other bowls of fillings. So they were putting watermellon in their tacos, too!
After lunch the girls washed dishes, so sweet. Then Lucy dowloaded a couple Chinese songs that I like onto my computer. We spent the afternoon just listening to music and chatting. They are such a delight to be with.

Later that evening I went out with Brenda and Anna to a Sushi restaraunt! I had caviar for the first time. It's weird stuff. It's getting really harder to be around Brenda. I love the lady a lot. But I'm soooo tired of her foul mouth and constant slander. May the Lord increase my love and patience!

Today is Mother's day! Mommy! I love you so much and can't wait to see you. Have a wonderful Mother's day.

Just Some Chatter

So you want to hear the latest drama. Well, a couple weeks ago around the time when the school was really pressing hard on me to commit to teaching next school year, they were also asking Brenda. I told them I was not going to return, but Brenda said that she would like to if they would increase her pay. She would have signed the contract then and there, but they told her to wait til May. Well, they just gave her all this time to seek out other oportunities and that is exactly what she did. She has some friends at one of the Universities in Zhanjiang, and the benefits are much nicer there. They would pay more, she'd be doing actual teaching with homework, textbooks, tests, and less "entertaining", better living conditions, and a lot more freedom (our school now has to know where we are all the time and we have to get permission to blow our noses... slight exageration). So she had been talking to this University. One morning Mark asked me if Brenda was going to sign the contract with our school, because the University called to ask for refferences. This may not seem like a big deal at all to you, but it is a huge deal here. It's all about loyalty. They don't see it as Brenda having a choice to work where she wants. They see it as Brenda stabbing them in the back and being a traitor to the school. Grace called Brenda right after she found out that Brenda had been looking other places; she tried to set Brenda up with an appointment to sign the contract ASAP. But Brenda decided just yesterday to sign a contract with the University, which she did most happily. It's going to be better for here there I think. The classes are smaller, the higher-ups are less invasive, and the University is nice and big right near a big park.

As for my future, I'm still thinking a lot about that. What to do, what to do?

The second day of the dance competition was really fun. I was prepared to see more Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty versions, but yay they were all more creative then that. I want to brag, cuz the day before were mostly Brenda's classes, and this time they were all mine! There were actually 2 groups of guys that played like a real band. I had no idea they could play drums and guitars and sing... not super great mind you... but it was really cute to see them try to be all rock star. Some of the dancing was really great. So proud of them.

*Click*

The Rat Trap Dude and the Rats
He's holding a bundle of his new fangled invention, as several unlucky live rats are coming to terms with the fact that they may never get those hooks out of their mouths.


Dancers from today's competition at the new school

 

Eves Dropping

This afternoon the students had another dance competition. It's always kinda fun and entertaining to see the students perform infront of their peers. They seem to really love Snow White and Cinderella. Last term they did like 4 renditions of it, and today I saw at least 5 or 6 versions. It's already old now... in my head anyway. I wonder how many times they will redo it tomorrow. Today there were some guys who did a cool choreagraphed thing with numchucks.

It's so hot these days. It's no wonder the poor students are so exhasted all of the time. There's 60 bodies crammed into a small room with large windows for the sun to dehydrate for 10 hours a day. Yikes, it got hot fast. And they say this is nothin'. Kinda like in Minnesota when we say, "cold 'nuf for ya? You ain't seen nothin' yet." But I still prefer the warm weather to the cold.

I finally got so sick of my refriderator today. It's been randomly shutting off when it feels like it, and I've lost a lot of good food already. The only way to get it back running was to kick it. So I got fed up, so Brenda and I went into her old apartment today (one floor just below mine) to fetch her old fridge. (We all have mini fridges, so we can handle the move). But holy growing green stuff, Batman. It was so sick. As soon as we opened the door we got a thick shower of mold spores. It was everywhere. The walls were black, and the green plastic chair was yeah... greeeeener and fuzzier. The fridge had been shut, and we opened it to find lots of lovely blackness. Wow. No wonder I get so lethargic and stuffy in my apartment right above this giant petry dish. If I didn't have the AC going all the time, my place wouldn't look or smell much different. We still made the switch, though. I cleaned out all the crap and now I'm happy to have a consistently running fridge.

This weeks lesson isn't all that exciting. They don't seem to appreciate my efforts to try to make lessons interesting, exciting, and yes entertaining. So I'm kind of giving them some grammar, reading, and comprehension excersizes out of spite. I'm so bad!! But I figure it's good for them. They read a short story about the real life of Hetty Green, the richest woman in the world in 1900, but who lived as if she were impovershed simply because she couldn't bare to spend her money. At the end of class we are playing a game, though. And it works so well. Boys vs. Girls. I go around asking questions, but they are not allowed to say Yes, No, or I don't know. If a girl says one of those, the boys get a point... and visa versa. It's really funny when I trick them like "Do you have any pets?"... "uh, I do not have any pets".... "really?" "Yes"... ha ha, every one likes it a lot.

It's kinda fun to be able to understand just enough Chinese... more than they realize. Today I road back with the headmaster in his brand new Honda wagon nicely purchased by the school for his personal use (wonder who's idea that was). Anyway, road back with him and like six other Chinese teachers. They were all chatting away, and then they started talking about me. This is what I heard,

"Can she understand what we're saying?"

"No, she can't speak Chinese."

"Does any one here speak English?"

"I don't.........I don't..........I don't.........ha ha ha ha ha"

"Isn't she pretty?"

"Where is she from?"

"She's from America."

"America, oohh."

"She is so pretty."

"She's so young"

etc etc etc

Yadda Yadda yadda! I just sat back and listened. It's kinda like the feeling you might get if you overheard people talking behind your back. But I was cool that I could understand so much, and the fact that they think I'm absolutely clueless makes it really fun.

A Wednesday Saturday

Today is Saturday in truth, but for me today is Wednesday. They have such a weird system here. In order to give us back-to-back free days, we have to start school on the weekend. Weekends do not have the same value here as they do in the States. So tomorrow is a Friday Sunday, then on Monday we will begin the week as usual. I'm still not sure when school ends exactly. No one knows. Isn't that so hard to imagine!? In the States we get out syllabi and our schedules way in advance and we always know what to expect, we always know key dates for what-not. But here, they just make up the schedule as they go. Believe me, it's really hard to get used to! Just another one of those interesting cultural differences that I experience every day. If you don't have a sense of humor and a good amount of flexibility, you would never be able to live overseas.

So the last of my holidays is over. It's all down hill from here, and soon I will be coming home! The six day holiday was nice. I didn't do much at all. At first I was a little bored, but then I began to really enjoy just relaxing. I slept a lot, watched a lot of tv and movies, went shopping, ate out, and walked around in the hot hot sun. One of the chemestry teacher's from our school has been asking me for weeks to get together with his daughter so she can practice her English. So Thursday I agreed to go out with their family. The He (pronounced Huh) family. They took me to eat at KFC, and we ate lots of chicken. At first it was a little awekward because none of their Enlglish is really great, and I didn't know what to say. But eventually the ten year old girl warmed up to me and became quite the chatter box. She found it more enjoyable trying to teach me Chinese. After dinner we went to a bookstore and looked at the English learning books. She has a very simple and limited vocabulary, but we were able to communicate well enough. She was a cutie. They want to invite me to their home next time. I was a little bummed cuz none of my students called to get together with me over the holiday. So I'm glad I got to spend time with the He's.

Yesterday there was a man on the corner of our street selling his new fangled rat traps. It was really interesting to see. His invention was like fishing for rats. If you can imagine, it's this string, and on the end of it is something like a springed bobby pin. When a rat takes food from the tip, it springs into a V and hooks into the rat's mouth. He had five or six LIVE rats who fell prey to his traps. They were all hooked by the mouth to these strings trying to get away. That guy was selling his traps like hot cakes. He had a loud speaker and was advertising real loudly. I took some pics that I'll try to post for you to see.

Allergies haven't been bothering me much lately. So thank you all for your prayers. I know it's because you lift me up. I appreciate it more than you know.

Worker's Day

Today is International Worker's day. Does the US do anything with this? This is the second international holiday that I've heard of for the first time. The first was Women's day. China observes them both. We get a 6 day holiday! So I've been sleeping in till super late and being as lazy as I want. Sadly, that can lead to a bit of boredom. I can only go out for just a little while by myself. It's just not safe!
The other day, Brenda, Arthur, Anna and I went out to eat and then bowling. We found this new place that serves pizza! It's nothing like you and I imagine pizza to be, but it was close enough. Bowling was just the girls. Arthur has had a back pain for months, and just recently learned that he had a slipped disc! So he's been going to the doc regularly to get physical therapy, including somekind of electromagnetic shock accupuncture. I did the best ever in bowling. I got more strikes and spares then I ever have! And the last time we were bowling was like two months ago! So they were all messing around saying that I had been practicing on my own time behind their backs.
We had an interesting conversation about idioms. Arthur and Anna's first language is Russian, yet they are very fluent in English. They were saying how translating English idioms literally into Russian, they sound so crazy! Then they translated some of their idioms into English and it was very interesting to hear, because some didn't make any sense at all! They told one that they thought we would find very strange that translates into English: why do you point out the speck in someones eye when you have a log in yours. I smiled, and said that it comes from the Bible!! They were very surprised to hear that! It has been a Russian "idiom" for ages!

I just want you all to know that my girl Kelly Hope Miller will be officially graduating from college soon! Congratulations, Kelly. I love you a ton, and wish I could be there to see you walk.