I must be a glutton for punishment. It took me 45 minutes to get to work today. I’m trying not to complain too much about the situation I put myself in, but it’s not easy. I have such mixed feelings about the whole moving thing. On one hand I am feeling ok about moving out of my old place. For a while I was sad and feeling like I would miss it, but surprisingly I don’t miss it as much as I anticipated. I am done with cockroaches! The place is really nice and there is so much room. But on the other hand, I can’t stand the commute and don’t understand how people can do that every day. And the place is COLD! I felt my vent last night while shivering in my bedroom, and cold air was coming from it. And we have the thing set at 70! It is NOT 70 in there by any means. There’s something wrong when I can hardly bare to put on my watch in the morning because the metal is too cold.
Honestly, I want to cry. I feel like I’ve made a very foolish decision. I’ve made several the past couple months, and I’m about ready to scream.
This past year for me has been about being real, wanting what’s real, seeking out realness. I prayed so many prayers that God would be more real to me and that he would show me what’s real. I believe he’s begun to answer that. I can see that with that realness, comes rawness. And in that raw realness I’ve begun to pursue freedom from religion (man made religion that is). I’ve learned so much about the freedom we have in Christ, and discovered new depths of “No Condemnation.” But perhaps without wisdom and direction, this kind of knowledge and freedom could lead to …not a road of “shouldn’t”s… but a place outside of God’s perfect will for my life. Perhaps that is what has happened here.
Starting now I’m going to pray for wisdom and direction. Those things have been lost along the way on this search for realness and Spiritual freedom from religious man-made traditions and shoulds and shouldn’ts.
And perhaps God has already begun to answer a prayer for direction in His Word that I read last night:
James 1:26-27
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Honestly, I want to cry. I feel like I’ve made a very foolish decision. I’ve made several the past couple months, and I’m about ready to scream.
This past year for me has been about being real, wanting what’s real, seeking out realness. I prayed so many prayers that God would be more real to me and that he would show me what’s real. I believe he’s begun to answer that. I can see that with that realness, comes rawness. And in that raw realness I’ve begun to pursue freedom from religion (man made religion that is). I’ve learned so much about the freedom we have in Christ, and discovered new depths of “No Condemnation.” But perhaps without wisdom and direction, this kind of knowledge and freedom could lead to …not a road of “shouldn’t”s… but a place outside of God’s perfect will for my life. Perhaps that is what has happened here.
Starting now I’m going to pray for wisdom and direction. Those things have been lost along the way on this search for realness and Spiritual freedom from religious man-made traditions and shoulds and shouldn’ts.
And perhaps God has already begun to answer a prayer for direction in His Word that I read last night:
James 1:26-27
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
