The Truest Thing

Once upon a time I was very disillusioned with “love.” I was bitter and resentful of love because in my hurt heart it didn’t really exist and only led to deep pain. But at the same time I longed for a prince to sweep me off my feet and carry me away to peaceful gardens of intimacy and healing and trust and security and comfort and … love. Somehow in my heart I still believed it was possible. But I was getting old, and all my friends were dropping like flies to wedded bliss, leaving me in the dust to rot and fester, alone with my secret impossible wishes and cynical mumblings under my breath after wishing them the best. Not totally alone though, I still had my just-as-single sister to share the “I-want-a-man sighs” with.
Eventually though, I got friends. Good friends. And I was so busy loving and living life with them and seeing God’s love through them that my pathetic thoughts of the awefulness of singleness got forgotten. Life was good.
Then lo and behold! One of those good friends became a great friend. And that great friend became much much more than just a friend. We fell in love! Right when I least expected it!
And now I’m one of those people that I would’ve secretly hated about a year ago!
Sorry sister… I hate to leave you single without me.
Now love has an entirely new meaning to me. And I ponder its wonderfulness quite often. Especially being loved has captured my thoughts. It’s a beautiful thing to love, but it’s in fact quite a miracle to believe and know you are loved.
There are countless poems and songs and musings on LOVING. But where are all the poems and songs and musings on BEING LOVED?
I think it’s something marvelous and healing to come to a place of really accepting another’s love for you. Maybe I think so because I come from a past of severe low self-esteem and low self-worth. To me, coming to a point of allowing someone to really truly love me is such an awesome miracle.
It brings healing and freedom and adventure and life!!
I don’t think I will ever tire of talking about love now. Funny how things change.
A word of wisdom to those who are where I was before, longing to BE loved. NEVER SETTLE. You know when you are even if you try to convince yourself you’re not. As hard as it can be at times, LISTEN to that still small voice telling you how you are worth so much more then what could be settled for.
The only way to begin allowing yourself to BE loved and to believe that you are worth more…. BELIEVE that God truly unconditionally loves you no matter what you do or have done…. HE LOVES YOU AMAZINGLY! I wish that I could tell you how much God loves without sounding even the slightest bit cliché… cause it’s the truest thing there ever was.