I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Today I found NINE dead fish in the tank. Perhaps it was due to a combination of the weather being so cold, the tank was getting dirty, and the tank was too small for all twenty one of the little guys. I feel like somehow I'm letting Nigel down, cause he loved those silly little fish so much, and I let so many of them die already. So I cleaned out the tank tonight and used my left over drinking water to replace the nasty water they were sludging through before. Then I just sat and watched them eat for a while. They're so cute, the little guys. I hadn't taken the time to enjoy them before. They're probably a bit traumatized from losing their papa Nigel and living with their dead brothers and sisters for a couple days til I noticed. I've decided to take much better care of them from now on. And there's still so many of them, I think I'm going to find some good homes for them.

Christmas is drawing near. I'm a little sad, you know. It's my first Christmas away from home. But I'm a big girl, and I know the Lord has good things in store for me. I've oddly enough been in a great Christmasy mood these days. Christmas is definitely not "in the air" here, but I have this warm joy and excitement in my heart. The Father is good to me and gifts me with so many blessings. Every good and perfect gift comes from above.

Thursday night I joined my students again for their art class. It's cool to be there, but in a way I don't understand how it can be called a class. The teacher just lets them draw whatever they want and doesn't do any instructing. They all laugh and joke together, it's really carefree and laid back. My student Tracy wanted me to come because this night she was the live model. There were only five other students there, so they along with the teacher began to draw her. I watched for a bit, then decided to join in. I've never had an art class before, and haven't really drawn a live model, but I enjoy trying. And I thought I did pretty well. My drawing actually resembled her! I didn't get to keep the drawing, as Tracy collected all the pictures when class was over. I would want to keep them too I guess. The one that the teacher, Mr. Li, drew was amazing. He has some serious talent. They asked if I would be their model for next week. I said yes, ofcourse! How fun, plus I wanna keep the picture the Mr. Li draws of me... how cool is that! I've always wanted to do one of those character sketch things at the fair, you know. But never have. Now I get a chance to get a super good drawing done of me.

Today I went for a nice walk. I did a little Christmas shopping for my Chinese friends. I don't quite know what to get them, but I would like to bless them somehow. I've realized in the last few days that I haven't been making the most of my time here lately. I want to open my eyes and take in as much as I can. There are so many interesting things to observe. It's easy to forget that I might never return to this place, and I could forget what it is like. I wish I were a good writer so I can put into words what life is like here. The culture is in such a strange place right now, struggling between old traditional ways of life and doing things, and modern Western ways creeping in and taking over the youth culture and commercial industry. On the same street you can see BMWs riding along side a makeshift buggy with dead chickens dangling off the back cycled along by an old man in a Chinese hat. Most young people have a cell phone, mp3 player or both, while just down the block the homeless people struggle to find their next meal. The upper-class women in their fancy leather boots, namebrand clothing, and expensive jewlery buy their groceries at the local market where the farmers bring their vegetables, fruit and pigs; and the fisherman bring their live catch. The floor is dirtied with blood, water, dirt, fish scales, unwanted vegies, and cigaret butts. The vendors fill the streets at certain times of the day (right before meal times), it looks like something out of national geographic.

There are so many people. You'd think we've been here long enough that people would know our faces and get over it, and stop staring at the foreigners so much. But everyday, there's tons of people just within a small radius of our school, that have never seen us. So we are new to many people every day. You'd think with all of this Western influence and technological explosion they've had here, they'd be familiar with how white people look... but I guess seeing a foreigner in "real life" is a big deal.

Today I bought some strawberries. Sadly they weren't that tastey. They're not quite in season yet, but you can find them in some places. I'm excited for when Mangos are in season. They are nearly impossible to find right now. I often buy my veggies and fruit from people who wear those Chinese hats and sell from their baskets. They carry them around the city. Two large baskets hanging from the ends of a pole that they carry on their back. What a contrast when you see these sellers outside of McDonalds and KFC or something! When I really think about it, it's amazing. But it's so common to me now, I don't even look twice.

How cool it is to be here! It's pretty amazing that I am seeing things that most people I know have never imagined. Like their clothing style, for example!!!! Haha... seriously, it's something so crazy I have to take a picture of some of the outfits these girls come up with. But how crazy would it be if I came home and you all were dressing like this. I hope not... it's really bad!!

One thing that's hard to get used to is the beggars. Have I already mentioned this? Many people have told me that there are "cheats." People who only pose as a beggar. So it's tricky. But there are those, who you have no doubt could use help. It breaks my heart. Especially the children. Many parents use their children to look extra pitiful and sad to get more donations, or they have them do tricks or dances. There are two little boys who I don't know how to take. They're always on this certain sidewalk, and they're unavoidable. They ambush you from behind a tree one at a time. If you give one money, then the other hops out and starts chasing you and will not leave you alone! All the while their mother is back there having a good ol laugh. Brenda and I only had one small bill to give one day, so when we gave it to the one little boy, the other started after us and Brenda was like, "Oh, crap, here comes the other one!" and we litterally started running away and hiding in the nearest shop! It was actually very humorous, cuz the kid waited for us for a while, then finally gave up. Poor kid. They are pretty cute. There's a couple men that scoot along Walking Street, who are missing a leg or paralyzed. It makes me think of JC saying, "get up and walk." I suppose there's no reason I couldn't say such a thing to them. My faith is so small!

You know Christmas is coming near. If there's one thing I would ask you to pray for me this season, it would be for boldness. There are so many oportunities for me to share His story with people, and to have meaningful discussions with my fellow foreigners. I admit that I am quite the chicken when it comes to speaking. But I want so much for Him to use me to share His story and His love during this time especially. I am not allowed to discuss "religion" with my students in class, but this is a special time of sharing what Christmas is about. Even Brenda said she is going to tell them the real meaning of Christmas traditionally and culturally, and she's not even a believer! So the oportunity is wide open. I need boldness and love! You are all so wonderful, because I know you lift me up. I wish I knew how to express how grateful I am that you remember me in your prayers. It's a wonderful and exciting time isn't it!