Treasures

"ETHIOPIA Homes of Christians Burned, Christian Man Killed - VOM SourcesOn January 8, the homes of three Christian families were burned by Muslims in the village of Begge. Even though the family belongings were burnt, no one was injured in the attack. At last report, the police had not yet investigated the incident or taken any action to bring the arsonists to justice. In the same area, 10 Christian youths have been living in a church building in Begge three months after fleeing from their homes. They were chased from their homes after their families threatened to execute them for converting from Islam. In a separate incident, a Christian man was killed by an unknown person in the town of Kofele. The father of five was hit on the head with a metal iron rod. His family believes he was killed by Muslims, since the Kofele area is dominated by Muslims. Pray God will comfort this brother's family in their grief. Ask God to encourage the Christian families who are homeless, so they can have deep assurance of God's love in the midst of tough times. Ephesians 3:14-19"


I get the VOM news letter in my email every month. I read it more closely now because my clients come from these countries... they fled those kinds of things. It makes it so much more real that I know the people personally. It brings it so much closer to home. Amazing.
I've only met a couple professing Christians though. Most of my clients are Muslim.

Yesterday I took my client Ghanalay home. She's from Liberia. I did some reading up on the war going on there. I don't know why she had to have a hip replacement, but according to others who have worked with her before something terrible happened to her in Liberia. She has three year old son with her. The rest of her older children are still in Liberia. She doesn't know if she will ever see them again. She's my age.

All these realities never cease to stun me into appreciation for the life I've been SO graciously given, the family I've been SO blessed to have and KEEP, the oportunities for success and comfort, the CHOICES I'm allowed to make.

I have a few new clients now. What incredible stories will I get to hear next, what treasured lives will I have the privilege to invest in now?

I shall BEHOLD him

Thanks for praying. I haven't had a bad dream for a while. Dad says I should write down my dreams, some may give spiritual insite in the future. I've written a couple down so far as I remember them.

My life seems to be going very well now... in a worldly sense. I have a great job (just got another raise! PTL!) I just bought a sweet ride, I have the most wonderful close family, I have my own apartment, I have great friends who love me, I have my health, I am in need of nothing.

But, of course, none of these things as great as they are, can fully satisfy my heart, my soul, my spirit. I still long for, like never ceasing hunger deep deep within me... for intimacy with my God. To know him and be known by him. I know I will never be truly satisfied til he wraps me up... can such a thing happen before I die and go to be with him in heaven? I know I can experience him in a real way here and now. I know because of the testimony of others. I hate to be left out of that. I know I've expressed these things before, but it's constantly before me... I can't ignore it. I find myself going through days after days without giving him a moment. I go to sleep thinking, another day has passed, just like the one before... another day same ol' same ol'...how long will it go on like this?

And then I think of traveling... wanting to escape again. Hoping that I might find Him somewhere else since this situation isn't doing it for me... again. But that's not the problem is it? Geography has nothing to do with it. But perhaps a trip can distract me from what I don't have. Running away to find something or running away to forget that I'm looking for something? Well, I'm not going to travel yet for a while, but I do know in my heart that the Lord is not done taking me places. But when I go it will not be out of escape, but out of obedience and with a mission. For now... I will stay here and wait on him to show me where he is and what it is to die to myself daily. So far myself is coming up with plenty of excuses to stay home and watch a movie. Day after day after day after day. Why can't today be the day that isn't like all the others?

When I go to fellowship with others I used to expect more. But now I don't expect as much, cuz nothings happened before. I almost expect nothing, or at the very most that I might be able to see something cool happen with someone else. And I worry that my state of spirit might be interfering with the rest of the group causing the unity to be unbalanced so the great things that might have been aren't able to be due to my presence. See how the enemy likes to discourage and belittle me. But I go anyway. Cuz there's still a glimmer of hope that the Lord might do something with me. That one of these days a wall can collapse and one of these days he might let me into the garden of his presence.

So tonight I go again to another fellowship gathering. Not knowing how to think or feel. To observe the favor poured out on others... observe... that's what I usually do. Observe and not participate. For what is there for me to contribute but this negativity and doubt. That's what I want to change too... I want to be a part... and not just observe. Could tonight be the night of breakthrough? And with a thought like that comes doubt and fear and all that crap.

Who knows. God's bigger then me and all those little voices I hear telling me that every day will be the same for the rest of my life. I have faith that things WILL change. It's just a matter of time before I will know his voice, and I will walk with him, and I will be covered in his authority, and overflow with his love. I know I am his... but there's a difference between just belonging to him and beholding him. And I know I shall...

Painted by Eva Carroll

Sleep, or something like it.

A million questions in my head at night. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. But...

The past two nights I've had night mares. The first night was such a terrible dream filled with such terrible wickedness I feel guilty for even having dreamt it, such wickedness it haunted me the rest of the day and made me feel so terrible. It gave me a glimpse at how truly disgusted God is with sin, and why it is he can't be near it and why he turned his back on Jesus when he took all my past present and future sins on himself that terrible day going into the depths to take my punishment and leave those nasties in the depths where they belong. Such wickedness cannot be tollerated.

The last nights dream was terrible in a different way, more terrifying and scary. I woke up in the middle of the night with a stiffness, terrified that if I moved I would be seen by them.

Jesus! Help me!

Christmas vacation was so wonderful. I could play on the ice all day. What fun!
But now it's back to work. It's definitely awesome to be at this job, but nothing beats spending time with family.

A lot on my mind these days. Long for a confidant, one that knows how to pry open these steel walls that gaurd me.

so pretty

It's so pretty!
I can't believe my eyes. I am in shock. literal shock. It seems a little strange maybe that I am so blown away by this little thing of getting a new car, but you have to understand that I have never had anything this nice in my entire life. It is a complete blessing from God and I am unbelievably grateful. God's goodness to me is astounding, and I feel so undeserving. Why does he do stuff like this to me! I wasn't even looking for a car, and he gives me an awesome one. I wasn't even looking for a job and I got one I love! God is so funny. I am floored. This car is his, this job is his! I feel I have no choice but to use these things for his glory. They are sacred because they are so His, and he has entrusted them to me for some reason!?
Last night when I saw the car for the first time and my sister gave me the keys I felt like the luckiest most blessed girl on the planet. I was thinking about it, and realizing that this is probably the kind of feeling I want to have when I get married! Even more so! To feel utterly blessed, giddy, and undeserving to have such a wonderful gift from God! I want to get married with that feeling. I feel like God's favor is wrapping me up, and I just can't figure it out. But I'll take it! And I praise God for he is SOOOOOOOOO worthy.

I get my car tomorrow.

I am sSSSSSOOOOOo excited!

Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait.

I'm tired.

Gettin the Tree

Hmong New Year

Prophetic?

Check it out. I was reading my dream journal from three years ago. Here are some exerpts of dreams I had. What do you think? Prophetic?

April 24
Dreams I was with a bunch of girls in a big mansion...it sort of turned into a grocery store. and these guys were stocking shelves. One guy was stocking toilet paper very high like super high. Then he fell backwards. We knew he was too high to survive that fall. But we all started to pray. I prayed first. It was the most intense prayer deeply deeply powerful, hands streatched out, I remember the intensity and unity of prayer and how we prayed in faith, in earnest, it was a long time. even for dreams, we prayed a long time. And he rose from the dead! Praise the Lord! Yet we weren't surprised, just thankful and worshipful, our faith was so big.

July 19
Dreamed that I got pulled over by a cop and got another ticket. But I wasn't speeding. I looked at the ticket to see what my offense was. It said, "Fear." I got a ticket for fear! I was so mad cuz I was like, what does he think I'm afraid of? I'm not afraid! I'm going to contest protest this! He can't give me a ticket for fear! What the dirt!?


Interesting, eh?

I'm trying to apply for a loan these days so I can get that car. But I've been denied twice already. Grrr. What up?
Trying to beat this cold that's trying to beat me up these days. I'm gonna win. No doubt. Just taking a couple hits in the process.
I best go check on my vegie soup.

Overflowing

I am just overflowing. OVERFLOWING!

How incredibly good God is to me. How dispicably undeserving I am of His riches. Yet he finds it good to bestow blessings on me. I haven't even gotten over the blessing of this job yet, and here come more blessings........!!

Today my boss called me into her office. That never sound like a good thing. But what she said was crazy-awesome. Aparently they had been comparing the sallaries of their employees to other people of the same job in other organizations and felt it neccesary to change my wages according to the wages other people are getting. Which means I get a dollar increase! And that's besides the fact that my 90 day performance review is coming up in January where I will be eligible for another pay raise!!!!!!!

Not only is this INCREDIBLY awesome, but it's just in time, because I just decided to buy a car. How exciting is my life right now. ha ha ha!

My wittle sister Eva's friend is selling his car to go love on orphans in Germany, so she's gonna drive it up for me over Christmas break. What a beautiful God.

Check out the car. It's so cute, eh!?!?

Hope

www.shutterfreaks.com/albums2/Scarves/Hope.jpg

Want me, Lord

Just some thoughts from Scripture. I have more questions then revelations.

"...he alotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him--though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being..."

Acts 17:26b-27

Perhaps this means that God was good enough to expand my boundaries into other parts of the world like China. He has increased my boundaries farther then others. Some peoples boundaries are smaller then others, but the Lord knows what is good for each of us.

But what of that next part... that I might search and grope and find GOD. Does this mean that some people don't have to search very hard or very far because he's easily found within their small boundaries, and others have their boundaries expanded where He requires deeper further prolonged groping covering more area, more places to search, more places where he can be hidden. Sometimes I feel that He's so so hard for me to find. The expanse in which I must search is overwhelming.

But what of that next part... he's not far from me. For IN Him I move. IN Him I have being. Maybe my perspective is wrong. Maybe He is the expanse. Because I am in him, He's increased my boundaries IN Him. I have no idea what that means or if it means anything at all. Maybe there's the posibility of some deepness there. But when it all comes down, I just want him to be close. Close enough to know him and touch him. ...He is not far.

I want to sing these words with a knowledge and not just a desire:
"getting lost in the light of your face...here i sit and rest my head up in your arms, to feel your breath and find the beating of your heart."

I can’t even love You unless You call my name
I can’t even worship unless You anoint my heart

I can’t even want to unless You want me first

Come fan the flame.

Getting Lost by Kelanie Gloeckler

What only you can do Misty Edwards

Happy Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Be thankful for what you have.

PRAISE THE LORD FOR ALL HIS BLESSINGS

Make Up

Some fun stuff at work these days. I got a couple new clients. One is from Belarus. He's a young guy who wants to be a welder, and he's learning English fast. I met with a woman today from Ethiopia. She was a TV reporter there! So she's pretty much famous in Ethiopia and now I get to be her job counselor! She's adorable. She's a year older then me. I asked her a lot of questions about the life over there because her English is excellent and she can communicate the situation better. She's been separated from her husband, and they'd only just recently been married. She said over and over, "the life of a refugee is very hard."
It's so hard to imagine the lives they've lived, and now they are in mine.
I'm so happy I got another job placement. This one for Marina! The Russian girl my age. I had called all the tailor/alteration/sewing shops in Minneapolis and one lady was excited to work with her. Marina has a degree in sewing from Russia. So I'm so stoked about that.
Even though things are going well, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with my case load, getting new clients every day. And getting discouraged with the ones I've been working with for months who haven't been able to land a job. I sense their frustration every time we meet. Especially for Hussein, he's such a trooper, and has had so many interviews... he just isn't getting hired. There are so few in this city who are sympathetic towards new Americans. I vow that if ever I become a business owner that I will create jobs for people such as these, even if temporary. They have it hard enough.
I'm looking foward to turkey day. I missed the holidays last year as I was in China, so now's the time to make up that family time.

True Trust

I had a random memory last night.

I remembered how my siblings and I would fold eachother up in our Hide-a-bed couch. How random is that! It made me think how totally crazy we were as kids and incredibly trusting of eachother. ha ha!!

Blessed Challenge

I have to record this super awesome day at work I had. It is the best feeling to place a client that I have worked with for so long. I first met Khadija the first week I started this job. She was one of my very first clients. So I've been working with her for over three months! She is the quietest person I have ever met in my life. She's only 16 years old which adds to her list of challenges in finding a job. At least she can speak English. It has been fun to spend time with her and have her open up to me. I learned a lot about the Somali/Muslim culture from her.
Last Friday I took Khadija and two other ladies out to apply for a job. The other ladies, Hawa and Naima, are not my clients, but I gave an open invitation to the other job counselors to send their clients my way if they were available. I heard about the job from good ol' Craig's List. A family owned business on Grand Ave. looking for dishwashers. I love working with down to earth small businesses like that. They are so much more real and understanding about the challenges our clients face in coming to this country. It was such a pleasant experience and I was sure that at least one of them would be able to get the job. It took us two hours to fill out the applications due to Hawa not speaking a word of English, and Naima not only having to translate for her, but try to figure out her own application and the writing. For women like these, the ESL classes they've had to take are their first taste of education in their entire lives. So things like reading and writing are huge challenges. And it's a great accomplishment to complete an application. I was expecting a little more of an interview from the owner, but he basically looked over the applications and looked at the girls and said, "Alright, who wants to start tomorrow?" We all looked at eachother like, is he serious? He hired all three of them on the spot, just like that! What a HUGE blessing, and man, I wish it was that easy all the time. It was a beautiful moment. And especially for Khadija. I am so blessed and I know she is too. Being a job counselor is not always an easy thing. It takes a lot of patience. Three months of job searching and 50 applications later. Finally!
I love this job. I love my clients.
And yet another great time with my Russian clients today. I took them to downtown Minneapolis, and this time without their translator. It was a lot of fun spending time with Marina and Galina, and I'm sure they appreciated the practice speaking English. I'm so impressed with their progress. Just a month ago all Galina could say was, Nice to meet you. And now she's understanding so much and communicating so much. and Marina's English is wow. She's my age and I feel this connection with her where I hope we can remain friends for a long time. She's the sweetest! She may have landed this sewing job at a tailor shop.
I'm so blessed, I can hardly find words. Each day is a challenge, and there are things that are so way out of my comfort zone... like having to be professional, and having to make tons of phone calls, and having to deny people bus cards, and struggling to motivate certain people. But I can't help by fall in love with all my clients. They are the coolest. I love working with these people. They teach me so much, and I always always want to aproach them with an attitude of learning from them, but also being able to help them understand the way things work around here. It bothers me when Americans treat new Americans like they are stupid and have an attitude of superiority simply because they speak English and DO know everything about living here. Try living in another country where you don't speak the language and don't understand the culture. It doesn't make you stupid, just out of your element. These people are not stupid. My clients have abundant treasures to teach me and facinating stories to tell and an incredible past that is most times filled with a lot of pain that we could never imagine. I am still so amazed that I am here and that I get to work with these people everyday. Please Please remember to pray for me that the most important treasure is Jesus, and that he is in me and I have this great treasure to share with them as well!
blessings upon blessings.
And some how my car has power steering now. How did that happen? Yeah, I've been driving it for months without. Strange.
I feel a tightening in my chest lately. I'm doing all I can to beat a cold before it gets too the coughing and running nose junk. So I made some homemade vegie soup. And now I'm just rambling.
I meet a new client tomorrow. Yay, what new challenges will this one bring?

Goodness

It's Friday... and the final hours at work. These last ones take f o r e v e r . . .

In a bit I'll be taking some clients out to apply for a dishwashing job. Then it's off to the Nort Country where I'll be staying the night with my sister and her family, then going shopping all day Saturday with Maia. I'm looking foward to spending some quality time with her. It's well overdue.

I'm happy today. God is good.

A Miracle Happened

A miracle happened. That baby with the messed up knee... the knee cap went back all by its self!No one can explain it except that many were praying for her. It's completely normal now. Wow, God!

There's a lot to think about these days. What will become of our recently democratic/liberal majority nation, how do I help one of my clients who can't speak a word of English that's put a restraining order on her own son, how do I manage my income wisely, how is it that day by day by day passes by without a deeper striving for the Lord, how can I build raport with those I see everyday without becoming "of the world."

God is good. I wish I knew him better. I miss you Lord. Show me the depths of your love.

A Look

I posted all the books I want to sell on ebay last night. But I guess more interesting things have happened to me lately. One of which is observing a day in the life of Amy my co-worker. Besides working part time at Lifetrack she's also an on call translator and she's so busy and frazzled. Last night she was up all hours with a woman in labor and had to stick around to translate through all the complications. They had to do a C section. But that's not the worst of it. The baby is totally healthy, but her leg is messed up. I offered to give Amy a ride home after work and she asked if I wanted to go with her to stop in and see the baby. The baby is so precious, but poor thing... the knee cap is on the oposite side of her leg so that her leg does not bend normally, but backwards! It bends up! All the doctors had never seen anything like this before. I saw it myself and felt her little knee cap on the wrong side. They have to bring in a special orthopedic pediatrician. It was the weirdest thing seeing that little baby's leg bend the oposite way.
While we were there Amy got a call about a girl who fell at school so she asked if I'd take her to the children's hospital emergency room. So I did and stayed for a while. I knew that if I stayed too long though the calls would probably never end, so I had to say goodbye. But it was really interesting to see how Amy's life works. She is pretty frazzled, and helps her people in every way she can, but she finds it hard to say no, even when she has reached her limits... like today going on only a couple hours of sleep. She's so tired. But she does what she does well.
We had a little "retreat" at work today. We just basically ate and hung out. We played a little game of just answering questions. I got this one question, "If you could have any job in the world for a week, what would it be?" I really like my job so it was hard to think of anything else really. But I have been so touched recently by the Baker's ministry so I said I want work in an orphanage in Mozambique. Right now I'm happy with what I'm doing. But I still don't see myself here for very long. I still have a desire to go overseas and see the world. I'm still waiting and trusting God for more clarity in my calling and more love and more passion for those that need Jesus!. Jesus is so sweet. Taste and see that the Lord is good.