Dream

Tonight I watched a lady chase down a rat with a brick. Nothing surprises me anymore. I hope she got it. It wasn't as big as the one we saw the other night, though. That one was (no lie, no exageration) as big as a cat. It was discustingly huge. And everytime I walk past the spot where we saw it, I always think of it. But you know what I hate even more? The cockroaches! They are much smaller then the rats, but in comparison to other creepy crawly flying insects they are huge! I freez up every time I see one and I can stand to kill them for the crunching sound makes my insides churn! I always make some one else kill it for me. I've only killed one myself because no one else was around, and it's just foolish to leave them alive. They have like a million babies if they reproduce. So gulp! PTL I haven't come accross any big spiders in our appartment, but please don't say knock on wood.

I'm realizing that I've begun to worry less and less about things. There's just too many possibilities for loosing it completely if you aren't flexible and carefree. Sometimes if I make a big deal of something small (For example locking myself out and being so embarrasses about it) they say, "it doesn't matter! It's not a problem!" etc. They are very Hakunamatata-ish here. I'm diggin' the laid backness.

Today I spent some time with Dream. I may have mentioned her before. She is a student at this school in the grade that has no foreign teacher. But her English is excellent and she is desprate to talk to all of us foreigners. In the past weeks she has made so much drama because of the guys. She is a typical teenage girl and thrives on the attention of the male foreign teachers. They've really begun to avoid her and make it clear that they dont' want a scandal. So she's been spending more time with me. Well, tonight I learned more about her life. She actually confided some really personal things to me. Her past is very dysfunctional and sad, and offers some explaination as to why she is the way she is. She doesn't know what her father's job is, but only that he makes a lot of money, enough to have a fancy car and give her thousands of RMB spending money. She is one loaded teenager! She smiles as she talks about the fact that she could have anything she wants. But then she gets quiet and says, "I have everything I could ever want, but no love." I asked her if she could choose between money and love, what would it be? Love, ofcourse. It broke my heart. She can be a little needy and clingy and childish... but I so want to introduce to her a love that she could count on, a love that she doesn't have to earn, a love that she has always wanted but never had, the love of The Father. Sometimes I feel patience running thin with her because of the way she behaves, so I ask that you please ask the Father to give me a deep love for her... that I would love her like He loves her, and that you lift her up as well. She is a really bright girl. It would be so cool to see her in love with the right Guy!