Feel the Burn

What an ever present battle we face every single day. How short the time is on the mountain top. How never ending seems the dry and barren desert of this world. Who will save me from this body of death! I long so much to be free from this constant struggle and the effects of the curse, and to be in His presence and behold His beauty forever.
It's so easy to forget that I'm in battle, and that It's not against flesh and blood. As some one very wise once told me, the most casualties of war are caused when people forget they are in battle and put their gaurd down. I put my gaurd down every single day. I am so aware right now of my overwhelming weakness. But as another wise person said to me, " Gd has you even in a hard place not because He wants to prove to you how weak you are, but because He has faith in you, because in Him, your weak love is made strong. and the smallest move of your heart to go after Him ravishes Him and is mighty to the pulling down of strongholds."

For at least the last week or so I've been struggling with depression. Monday night, though, I had a wonderful time with the Lord worshipping him, and also outwardly struggling with this thing that has gripped my brain. Tuesday I woke up so refreshed and declaring it a good day. And it was! But I woke up today as if none of that even happened. It really makes me realize what a constant thing it has to be... worship and fighting against all the forces that come up against me. I can't expect this one little victory to be the end of the battle. It makes me nervous, because I know me... I am the least disciplined person I know. And to think of always being in this struggle is so exhasting! But listen to this, it sounds like the enemy is giving me all kinds of reasons to give up. There's no way I'm gonna let him win. Please praay for me! For strength, a sound mind, discipline, discernment, and armor! I know I always whine about being so alone here, but distance doesn't matter now, when I know you are praaying for me.