Nigel

Nigel Parker

Nigel was the first of the foreign teachers that I met in China. The first day I arrived in Zhanjiang, he helped me out and gave me many tips on living the life here. He had been a teacher in China for three years. His British accent, way of speaking, dry humor and sarcasm always made things interesting. He was kind, caring, very generous, and funny. But he was also a bit foolish and Chinese-girl crazy. He would have been 50 years old next January. But he was like a child. Youthfully active, but sometimes did not make the wisest of decisions. He was epileptic and occasionally had seizures and blackouts. We're not sure if this had anything to do with his death. We're not sure of anything really. The Chinese who were with him keep changing their story. The last I saw him I was leaving dinner early to hang out with my students on Saturday night. I didn't even say goodbye. You never expect you'll never see someone again. He text me on my phone that night to see if I was ok, as my students took me to the beer festival. He also called again later to make sure I was ok. This is the last I heard from him. Sunday I was with my students when I got the call that he had drown. The rest of us foreign teachers were together all night talking about what had happened. He had gone with a group of Chinese teachers from our school to a small island. It's so weird that they would go there; there's nothing to do or see there. Apparently he went swimming and drown. A Chinese teacher tried to save him, and he drown too. They've changed the story, and we will probably never know the truth. There's no such thing as CSI China finding out what really happened. But we know Nigel, and nothing makes sense. We know Nigel hates the cold, and we know he doesn't like swimming. Even in BeiHai he never went swimming. I don't think it was foul play like some have suggested, but I know it must have been a terrible accident. For two people have died. They didn't find the other guys body til two days later. Arthur and Martin got the call first, and took a boat to the island as soon as they heard. Martin is a lifeguard in SanDiego so he knows all about drowning. He says if they knew what they were doing he could have been saved. They took him to a tiny little hospital where hundreds of Chinese did what they do best: stare at the foreigners. I wasn't there, but I know it was awful. I don't know if I could've handled it. I've never really had anyone close to me pass away before. I was too young when my grandma passed, I don't remember much. Nigel is the closest death has come to me. I don't quite know how to handle it. He was my neighbor, and I always heard him in his place. Sometimes I think I still hear him. It's too quiet now. Nigel had these fish that he adored. He treated them so well. He would get very defensive if you said anything bad about his fish! Only two days before, he asked me to take the fish so he could clean out his tank. So I have all his fish now. There's like 25 of them, and I want to give them to people. Give them something living of Nigel's. That night that it all happened was awful. We knew the Chinese might go through his things; the police would be there the next day. So that night we went to his place and made sure that there wasn't anything they shouldn't see... Which there was. Can't say. It was so creepy to be in his place going through his things. We all took a memento. Brenda and I took some of his postcards of Pandas. He was passionate about pandas. His Chinese name was panda: XiongMao. He took a special trip during autumn festival to Sichuan to see the pandas, and even got to kiss one! The others say things like maybe he is a panda now. It's so strange to deal with something like this in a foreign country because they have different ways of dealing with things, ways that are more often than not very corrupt and intrusive. This whole situation is splattered with corruption. It's so unsettling. I knew who the Chinese teacher was that drown also. It just doesn't add up. It has been a difficult week. But Maggie has done an awesome thing for me. I told her that I was not up to teaching and trying to be all happy in front of my students, so she hooked me up with the special room where I can show a movie. So this week and next we will watch the movie. But still, I have students everyday wanting to know what happened. I just tell them I don't want to talk about it. I feel like they don't ask cause they care, but cause they just want to know. We were told to stay out of it anyway, and the school, government, and international affairs will take care of everything. My Chinese friends are scared to go anywhere with me now, cause they don't want to be responsible if something were to happen. Some have even gone as far as to say that I should just stay in the school and not go anywhere. There's no way I'm letting fear keep me from living. This event has caused so many waves. Nigel was friends with many of the students. One of which was Dream; you may recall me talking about her. All this has affected her life in big ways. Her gaurdians and teachers tell her that she is too close to the foreigners and she's not allowed to talk to us anymore. It adds to her feeling of being imprisoned in this dysfunctional pseudo family she's been put in. She is in such despair. Please lift her up. She needs love and hope. As for me, I will be ok. I've just been in such a shock. It is so tragic what happened. And I beat myself up for the fact that I don't speak of His love. I have been to Bible college and have and ICS degree, for what? None of that matters if I live in the silent shadows. Is there hope beyond the grave to choose Him? We are all going to miss Nigel. It's so strange to think that he was planning to visit his mother in the UK in just a month. She just had a bad stroke, and he feared she would die soon. It's still so surreal. Even as I write all these things I feel like he could pound on my door to say "The egg ChaoFan was ever so good tonight. Cheers!" And it would all become just a really bad practical joke. I have to move on. No more sleeping all day and skipping meals.

So today I went out.

If there was an Olympic sport of infuriating foreigners, then the China Post would get the gold medal. I absolutely hate going there. It is the one place in China that makes me want to go home more then anything. I was there for almost 2 hours today trying to mail something. And my Chinese friend Maggie was with me! It's unreal how messed up their system is. I'd rather go to the dentist. Language barrier has only adds to the frustration. I could blame some of my frustration on the fact that it's been an emotional week. But even without my emotions involved, it's the most screwed up place in China. Even the Chinese get upset there. Grrrr! As most of you know, I am a very even tempered person. But this place takes the cake. I could go on... But yeah, I think you get the idea. On the brighter side of the post, I got a package! Steve and Sally couldn't send the boys, so they sent the next best thing: hugs from them! Add some homemade cookies to that, and it's comfort in the nickatime!

You all have been so supportive. I know you lift me up. I can't tell you how much that means to me. I need it so much. It often feels very lonely and empty here. Corruption is around every corner, and it can be overwhelming. Even though I walk through the valley, the shadow of death... I won't be afraid, cause he's here with me.