Foolishness

Greetings to those on the other side of the world. I just wanted to drop a note and let you know I'm still alive and kicking. I'm sorry to report that I have nothing terribly interesting to share with you right now, though. Just the daily going-ons as a young white chick living in a foreign country.

Last Friday my teacher friend Leanne invited me to join her and the others for a teacher outing on Saturday at the bowling alley and afterwards a BBQ. I was excited to have been invited somewhere and to have to oportunity to meet more good people in a safe environment, and to get to hang out with Leanne more. I've been lonesome for a friend. Saturday came and a couple hours before I was to meet up with Leanne I got a message from Grace telling me that I've been uninvited. Aparently, they could not take me along because I am not part of the teacher's union. I'm of course disappointed, but I understand. I understand that it's more then just the teacher union. Ever since Nigel died, some of the teachers are afraid that something bad might happen to the foriegn teachers under their watch, and they don't want to be responsible or be involved if anything did; and some are very angry with the way that the school tries to meet all the foreigners demands, yet treats the Chinese teachers badly. It's sad. I'm in such a weird posistion. We work half as much as all these teachers, yet our living conditions are far better, our pay is way more then what they get, and we foreigners are always given places of honor at special events. I can understand why they'd be upset. I didn't ask to be treated better then them. I wish it didn't have to be like this. It makes it even harder to make friends. But I know that not every one feels like this. Leanne was very upset when she found out I was uninvited. She said there was a foreign teacher at the event anyway. She is very angry at the people who would use stupid excuses to try to get rid of the foreigners.

Ah, well.

So instead of bowling Brenda and I went on a long walk to a new place that day. We found a new humungo market selling all kinds of clothes. It's amazing that out of all the little shops we saw throughout this massive maze we could only find a couple things worth buying. I bought myself a new coat and some sweaters. It's freezing right now. 45 degrees. And it might be colder in my apartment, at least it feels like it! I'm wearing like 4 or 5 layers.

Today I began my last week of teaching before Spring Festival Holiday. I realized today that this week is the end of this part of my life, becuase next term will be competely different. I might have a new mix of students, a different number of classes, and I will be teaching at the new campus. It will be a competely new experience. I am going to miss teaching my students here. I am going to miss sitting in the teachers' office in between classes and talking to the teachers. I am going to miss being able to go to my room right after class and not having to take the bus. I am going to miss it this way, because this is how it was when I first knew it. Dude, if I'm this shook up about it now, how will I be when I am actually going to be going home!!

My students realized today, too, that things are going to never be the same. I walked into one class and they were clapping and chearing and telling me how happy they were to see me! They are so cute. I hope the classes don't change too much. I wouldn't mind not teaching class 24 anymore, though. Aren't I terrible!!!!

Another thing I realized just the other day is that holy buckets, I'm going to be twenty-five in less than a month! I don't feel that old, not that 25 is old. I still feel very young and imature, like I've got so much ahead of me. In a way I don't feel like I've done much. But on the other hand, I've seen and done more then many people do. It's my new year wish and my birthday wish, still, that I will know Him more. That's all I want. I'm still battling the flesh like crazy. I can't seem to get over needing to be accepted and approved by people. I'm afraid of looking foolish to them, when in fact this is the very thing that I must do! My dad told me something the other day that I haven't stopped thinking of since. Maybe it's from the Word, but when he said it, it was like hearing it for the first time:

"The Kingdom is for those that the world finds foolish."

It's time to be a fool.