Minimal Reflections

The events of the last couple weeks have been pretty stressful and strange. I haven't allowed myself any reflection time, but have kept myself overly busy. I'm a little afraid of what will happen if I am left alone with my thoughts. In times of solitude I tend to try to avoid reflection by turning on the TV or reading a book. But I can justify the reading part by telling you that the book I'm reading is fantastic. It has messed with my theology so much and led me to look at numerous topics in a whole new light. You must read The Divine Romance.

Do I really want to start a reflection on Grandpa passing away? He's with Jesus now, and I'm jealous. That's all I got for you on that right now.

I am going to tell you the dream I had last night because it was very strange. Could it be the sushi I ate last night? I had a dream that I bought some used hockey sticks at this weird whole-in-the-wall store. I remember testing the strength of the sticks so make sure they could withstand the abuse we give them on the ice. I decided to buy the bundle of them and they were $5 each. I looked around the store some more, and there was rows and rows of fish tank/ aquarium items that I found very facinating. I tried to make my way down the aisles to check them out... the owner of the store suggested I put down the hockey sticks so I don't knock anything over. How thoughtful. Next thing I remember was looking at a bunch of exotic fish in this huge aquarium, and deciding to buy different kinds. Someone might have warned me about dangers of putting certain kinds of fish together, but I was going for how cool the fish looked. Next thing I remember was watching helplessly as one fish, with a scorpion like tail plunged its tail into the body of another cool fish, which I think was my favorite cuz it was so cool... it was black and yellow and had a unique texture. It happened incredibly fast, and I remember exactly how I felt when it happened... I felt helpless, devistated, shocked, disgusted, terrified. It was gruesome and disturbing. I can see the scene in my mind, and it disturbs me even now... like more than it should. Why does it disturb me so much?

Myanmar is in quite a state right now. We have many Burmese-Karen clients, so these events directly affect my job. There were many Karen demonstrating at the capitol last week, and among them were people I see in the office weekly.

My job is going to be changing a lot in the next few weeks. Programs are being added, so coworkers in my program will be transfering to other programs, and 3 new hires will be added to my program to replace them, which means that I will be the "senior" in this program and most experienced! Which means I will be spending a lot of time training new coworkers, and in addition to that I will be supervising a Volunteer. It is going to be a lot more responsibility on my part, and it will make my resume look pretty sharp! To be honest though, I am a little nervous about the changes, and don't find myself to be quite confident enough. But a change will be good. People have been listening to me complain too much about wanting a change, so I guess I'm getting what I asked for... sort of.

I have been struggling a bit financially, so I am getting a bit serious about finding a rooommate and getting a different place in order to save some money. Trying to decided if it would actually save me money. I guess it all depends.

The sun poked out after a long rain... that always makes me happy.