Last night I had a dream that I was at a ski hill, ready to pay for my equipment so I could go soar down some hills. I got my wallet, and opened it up to find all my money, credit cards, drivers license... everything was missing. I had been robbed. I was so incredibly upset. I was so upset I woke myself up, and I felt so violated. I almost got out of bed to check to see if my things were still there.
I don't think it was a coincidence I had this dream. I have been feeling spiritually robbed lately. Struggling to grasp the promises of life abundant. I was trippin' after reading Hebrews 11 the other night. To imaging that the famous "Hall of Faith"ers never experienced or received the promises... yet they were commended for their faith. It doesn't seem at all fair, and I don't understand how God could do that to them.
But then comes Hebrews 12... Run with perseverance, Look to Jesus the PIONEER of our faith. Although, I still don't understand why God did not let the Faith Fathers experience the promises I know that Hebrews 12 is meant to encourage. I was particularly encouraged by verse 12, a verse that I must have read many times in my life, but I never really read it til now, "Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees." To me, it's a call to worship and to not be discouraged... despite the Faith Fathers seemingly getting jipped... somehow there's hope in there, and a reason to lift our hands. Still trying to grasp it.
So I finished my painting. It has remnants of the mistake I made on it. It's not perfect. It's not exactly what I want it to look like. Things happened along the way that I didn't plan on or expect. Some things don't make sense about it like the colors or shapes. Some things seem out of place. But somehow it works. I can't seem to want to add or change anything else about it. Usually all the flaws irritate me to no end and I have to see them fixed... but for some reason, it just keeps telling me to leave it be. And it makes me think about life.
I don't think it was a coincidence I had this dream. I have been feeling spiritually robbed lately. Struggling to grasp the promises of life abundant. I was trippin' after reading Hebrews 11 the other night. To imaging that the famous "Hall of Faith"ers never experienced or received the promises... yet they were commended for their faith. It doesn't seem at all fair, and I don't understand how God could do that to them.
But then comes Hebrews 12... Run with perseverance, Look to Jesus the PIONEER of our faith. Although, I still don't understand why God did not let the Faith Fathers experience the promises I know that Hebrews 12 is meant to encourage. I was particularly encouraged by verse 12, a verse that I must have read many times in my life, but I never really read it til now, "Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees." To me, it's a call to worship and to not be discouraged... despite the Faith Fathers seemingly getting jipped... somehow there's hope in there, and a reason to lift our hands. Still trying to grasp it.
So I finished my painting. It has remnants of the mistake I made on it. It's not perfect. It's not exactly what I want it to look like. Things happened along the way that I didn't plan on or expect. Some things don't make sense about it like the colors or shapes. Some things seem out of place. But somehow it works. I can't seem to want to add or change anything else about it. Usually all the flaws irritate me to no end and I have to see them fixed... but for some reason, it just keeps telling me to leave it be. And it makes me think about life.
I am still sad about moving. I started packing stuff already, and forgot to take pics of my place. So I'm bummed about that. I think I need a good cry.
2 comments:
Wow! i like it. can't wait to see it full size.
it's encouraging to know you are encouraged by the living word. let the juices flow ;)
dang leah. i love it. yup. love it. i have some pics of your apt - i'll send 'em to you when i get back to clt.
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