Check out this link. It's the page to the school I taught at in China. If you go to the bottom to the Teachers "Window"... yeah that's me. And next to me is Nigel.
http://www.gdzjez.com/index2.asp
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Movie worthy
I heard the most beautiful story today, and I wanted to record it so it wasn't forgotten.
There's the cutest Vietnamese woman that works at the same agency as I do. She works at a different location, but I see her occasionally when I do business in Minneapolis or if she does business in St. Paul. Her name is Solange. It's French. She told me her mother is half french. Every time I see her she is always so happy to see me, and always tells me how beautiful she thinks I am. She's so cute. Today is the first day that I've actually gotten to have a real conversation with her. We were eating cake at one of the higher-uppers retirement party. She told me the story of how her and her husband met. It goes something like this...
Vietnam was divided between North and South. The North was occupied by the communists and the South was free. We lived in the South. The South then was taken over by the communists, and they put any man who had worked for the US government in prison. Before I knew him, my husband was one of these men. My uncle was also imprisoned. My uncle was in prison for 5 years, my husband for 7. My husband was married to another at that time, but while he was in prison his wife got married to a communist.
All those years in prison could drive a man crazy. My mother suggested that I write my Uncle letters to encourage him while he was in prison. We were only allowed to visit after the first 2 years, and then only twice a year. I wrote letters to my uncle regularly. I did not know that my uncle would share the letters with this other man.
After their release my Uncle introduced me to the man and the man told me that the letters kept him alive. He asked me to marry him, by I told him I could not marry a man I do no know or love. He said that he knows me from the letters and that he loves me. But I still refused. Later I was in the hospital and this man and my mother took care of me. When I became well, I went to coffee with him and got to know him. My uncle spoke very highly of him, telling me that this was a good man and that I should marry him. I fell in love with him and we were married. We've been married for many years now, we have 4 children and 3 grandchildren.
It's not exactly like she told it, but all the information is there. I wish you could hear her tell her story with her cute accent and ways of saying things and see the way she smiles like a shy school girl when she remembers and hear in more detail the aweful conditions of the prisons and how her letters meant so much to the man she did not yet know. She told me that they made a decision before they married to never argue, and IF they argue to never do so in front of children or others. She said they've only argued TWICE. She explained how pointless it is to get worked up and angry, and the key is to listen and talk things through. She said he is very sweet and takes good care of her.
I don't need the movie-worthy story, I only wish that I might find a sweet man who will take good care of me.
There's the cutest Vietnamese woman that works at the same agency as I do. She works at a different location, but I see her occasionally when I do business in Minneapolis or if she does business in St. Paul. Her name is Solange. It's French. She told me her mother is half french. Every time I see her she is always so happy to see me, and always tells me how beautiful she thinks I am. She's so cute. Today is the first day that I've actually gotten to have a real conversation with her. We were eating cake at one of the higher-uppers retirement party. She told me the story of how her and her husband met. It goes something like this...
Vietnam was divided between North and South. The North was occupied by the communists and the South was free. We lived in the South. The South then was taken over by the communists, and they put any man who had worked for the US government in prison. Before I knew him, my husband was one of these men. My uncle was also imprisoned. My uncle was in prison for 5 years, my husband for 7. My husband was married to another at that time, but while he was in prison his wife got married to a communist.
All those years in prison could drive a man crazy. My mother suggested that I write my Uncle letters to encourage him while he was in prison. We were only allowed to visit after the first 2 years, and then only twice a year. I wrote letters to my uncle regularly. I did not know that my uncle would share the letters with this other man.
After their release my Uncle introduced me to the man and the man told me that the letters kept him alive. He asked me to marry him, by I told him I could not marry a man I do no know or love. He said that he knows me from the letters and that he loves me. But I still refused. Later I was in the hospital and this man and my mother took care of me. When I became well, I went to coffee with him and got to know him. My uncle spoke very highly of him, telling me that this was a good man and that I should marry him. I fell in love with him and we were married. We've been married for many years now, we have 4 children and 3 grandchildren.
It's not exactly like she told it, but all the information is there. I wish you could hear her tell her story with her cute accent and ways of saying things and see the way she smiles like a shy school girl when she remembers and hear in more detail the aweful conditions of the prisons and how her letters meant so much to the man she did not yet know. She told me that they made a decision before they married to never argue, and IF they argue to never do so in front of children or others. She said they've only argued TWICE. She explained how pointless it is to get worked up and angry, and the key is to listen and talk things through. She said he is very sweet and takes good care of her.
I don't need the movie-worthy story, I only wish that I might find a sweet man who will take good care of me.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Comfort eh
Update
Hope had a dream. She said that she saw Jesus, and he comforted her. He pointed at me [Leah] and said to her, "you see that girl?"
Then she woke up. She woke up feeling at peace about the situation with her children.
When she told me this dream it was such a confirmation that i am in her life for a reason. Wow! What an amazing dream from the Lord!
I have been checking out how to Sponsor someone from overseas. It's difficult, but God's working.
This Week
Monday I went out with my small group gals and we passed out flyers for a revival meeting in one of the roughest neighborhoods in St. Paul. We got kicked out of Rainbow Foods!! Haha. Yeah, we should've known they wouldn't like people passing out flyers in their store. But it was fun, and I have't been that out of my comfort zone in a long time. What a trip. Oh, and today I gave one of the flyers to one of my Muslim client.
Tuesday ... tonight... speaking of out of my comfort zone, I auditioned for another show. I thought I did ok considering most of the others were highschool and middle school kids who couldn't keep a tune. It was such a different experience than the other audition where I sang to just the director a song that I picked out and practiced for days. Here they ran through 4 different songs with a large group, told us to come on up one at a time in front of everybody and sing one of the songs that they just "taught" us... but really we only got to hear them a couple times... wild! I ended up singing a song called "Shy".. ha ha. Well, I'm just going for a chorus part. Who knows. But Breinn said if I don't make it I can help out with the set for the other play. Kinda wishing I took that plate part now... oh well.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
More Hope
What an interesting last few weeks I've had. I am now part of a really awesome cell group. The other night they shared their vision for this cell group "model." The "Old paradigm" is that cell groups are a program of the church. The "New paradigm" is that cell groups are the church. So far its awesome and Ive been blessed a ton.
The Lord has given me a ton of oportunities to pass the blessings on to others. He's presented me with some intense situations of which He's allowed me to be a part of. The two biggest I will share.
One of my clients from Liberia is facing homelessness, she has a three year old and a disability. I've been working hard to help her. It's not even really my job to do all the things i've helped her with. But no one else is helping her. God given me lots of oportunities to minister to her.
Just today my heart broke at the story my client from Tanzania told me. I've mentioned Hope before. She's a precious lady. What I tell you is real and true. And it's hard to share, cuz who could understand? Never before have I been so close and personal to the hearts and souls of those who truely suffer.
Hope cried as she told me about her niece (13) and nephew (10). Hope's sister and her sister's husband both died of HIV. The kids were living with their grandpa, but grandpa recently died. The kids are not living on their own. They have no one to take care of them, no where to go. The girl said she wanted to take poison to kill herself and give poison to her brother so they can both die. Hope wants so badly to go to Africa to take care of her children. She calls them her own now. Her husband will not permit her to go, so she wants to sponsor them to come to the US, but her husband thinks it's too hard and impossible. I immediately asked Hope if I could pray for her, and we prayed together. I prayed that God would give these kids hope. God, give these kids Hope. It's so prophetic that Hope is named such. I todl her I would do as much as I can to help her in this situation. Please pray for Hope. Please pray for these kids. I'm sure there are millions of kids in a similar situation, but this one is so close to home. I know Hope. I love Hope. I've seen the pain she feels and the desperateness.
I beleive God has put me in these situations to be used by Him. Please pray if nothing else. And if you have any idea how we might be able to unite Hope with her children, please let me know!! Right now I'm just going to look into how sponsorship works and what it might take for the kids to get here. And I'm gonna try to contact the Bakers who have the orphan ministry in Mozambiqe... i know its probably far, but maybe they may know of a way to help.
Thanks for praying.
The Lord has given me a ton of oportunities to pass the blessings on to others. He's presented me with some intense situations of which He's allowed me to be a part of. The two biggest I will share.
One of my clients from Liberia is facing homelessness, she has a three year old and a disability. I've been working hard to help her. It's not even really my job to do all the things i've helped her with. But no one else is helping her. God given me lots of oportunities to minister to her.
Just today my heart broke at the story my client from Tanzania told me. I've mentioned Hope before. She's a precious lady. What I tell you is real and true. And it's hard to share, cuz who could understand? Never before have I been so close and personal to the hearts and souls of those who truely suffer.
Hope cried as she told me about her niece (13) and nephew (10). Hope's sister and her sister's husband both died of HIV. The kids were living with their grandpa, but grandpa recently died. The kids are not living on their own. They have no one to take care of them, no where to go. The girl said she wanted to take poison to kill herself and give poison to her brother so they can both die. Hope wants so badly to go to Africa to take care of her children. She calls them her own now. Her husband will not permit her to go, so she wants to sponsor them to come to the US, but her husband thinks it's too hard and impossible. I immediately asked Hope if I could pray for her, and we prayed together. I prayed that God would give these kids hope. God, give these kids Hope. It's so prophetic that Hope is named such. I todl her I would do as much as I can to help her in this situation. Please pray for Hope. Please pray for these kids. I'm sure there are millions of kids in a similar situation, but this one is so close to home. I know Hope. I love Hope. I've seen the pain she feels and the desperateness.
I beleive God has put me in these situations to be used by Him. Please pray if nothing else. And if you have any idea how we might be able to unite Hope with her children, please let me know!! Right now I'm just going to look into how sponsorship works and what it might take for the kids to get here. And I'm gonna try to contact the Bakers who have the orphan ministry in Mozambiqe... i know its probably far, but maybe they may know of a way to help.
Thanks for praying.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
LIAONING PROVINCE รข€“ On March 14, local police arrested 54-year-old house-church leader, Gu Changrong, in Fushun City, Liaoning Province, after she shared her faith with the secretary of the Communist Party in her village. According to China Aid Association (CAA), Yu Mingfu called the police and accused Gu of "poisoning Communist Party members with the Christian message." According to Gu's relatives, she has been sentenced to one-year of re-education through labor for "using evil cult organizations to obstruct the exercising of state laws." The family has not received a formal notice of her sentence since her arrest, according to CAA. Gu is serving her sentence at Ma San Jian Labor Camp, which is known for its harsh treatment and torture against thousands of imprisoned Falun Gong members.
Pray God comforts the families and congregations of the arrested house-church leaders and ask God to encourage the pastors. 2 Corinthians 1:5 -7
Pray God comforts the families and congregations of the arrested house-church leaders and ask God to encourage the pastors. 2 Corinthians 1:5 -7
Voice of the Martyrs
Prayers for April 10, 2007
Human Rights
"On December 10, 1948, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). This Declaration guarantees the rights of all people and encompasses a broad spectrum of ecomomic, social, cultural, poitical, and civil rights."
Right to Equality
Freedom from Discrimination
Right to Life, Liberty, and Personal Security
Freedom from Slavery
Freedom from Torture and Degrading Treatment
Rigth to Recognition as a Person before the Law
Right to Equality before the Law
Right to Remedy by Competent Tribunal
Freedom from Arbitrary Arrest and Exile
Right to Fair Public Hearing
Right to be Considered innocent until proven guilty
Freedom from interference with privacy, family, home and correspondence
Right to free movement in and out of the country
Right to Asylum in other countries from persecution
Right to a nationality and the freedom to change nationality
Right to marriage and fmaily
Right to own property
Freedom of belief and religion
Freedom of opinion and information
Right of peaceful assembly and association
Right to participate in government and in free elections
Right to socail security
Right to desireable work and to join trade unions
Right to rest and leisure
Right to adequate living standard
Right to education
Right to participate in the cultural life of community
Right to a social order that articulates this document
Community duties essential to free and full development
Freedom from state or personal interference in the above rights
I think it this Declaration is very interesting considering that the UN is made up of nearly all countries in the world, yet how many of them abide by this... including ours. I think of China and Ethiopia... What's the point of accepting a declaration that you don't intend on following?
I would venture to say that at least 80% of the world has no clue that this Declaration even exists. And even if they did, would it matter? Would it affect the way they are treated? The solution to human rights cannot be a man made declaration. As long as we are human we will never cease to degrade eachother. Oh how we need a savior!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Ethiopia
I learned a lot the other night at the film and panel discussion on Ethiopia. The panel was made up of an attorney from Center for Human Rights, Obang Metho, (an Anuak from Ethiopia who serves as the Director of International Advocacy for the Anuak Justice Council, he is the executive producer of the film we watched) and two other prominent Ethiopian men.
These are some rough notes I took from:
I love to learn about the countries of the people that I'm working with. I've learned so much already. This is just a snippit. I will be going April 6 to the other panel discussion. I'm excited to learn more. It's so much easier to listen and take notes now then in college. I guess I was overwhelmed with classes there, and now I can go to things I want to hear and I'm not required to be there and I'm not paying thousands of dollars for it. Takes the pressure off.
Last week I also attended a seminar on West Africa and learned so much there also. It was quite a busy week. Not only were we going to seminars, but it was also the end of our quarter and we had to reach our goals, AND we were being audited. It was so crazy busy. But the energy and adrenalin of being busy and in a rush made the time go by fast. This week has already been really slow and I'm having a hard time finding things to do! I'd almost rather be crazy busy.
These are some rough notes I took from:
"Betrayal of Democracy--Ethiopia"
Summary of film, Panel
discussion, and Q&A
Film: Documentary on the lack of Human
Rights in Ethiopia. Under the leadership of the Prime minister Zinawe there is
oppression, lack of justice, etc.
One example of an
atrocity that somehow missed national news:
December 13, 2003
The Anuak people massacred by uniformed Ethiopian military. All educated
Anuak men and boys tortured and killed. They believe its because they live
on oil wells. The atrocity was never investigated. At the time Prime minister
Zinawe claimed that the military was trying to intervene in a civil war. Now he
claims that this even is fiction. The Anuak people are becoming extinct. Many
refugees fled into Sudan. Minnesota has the largest number of Anuak in
the world outside Ethiopia.
2005
Ethiopia held open election.
96% of voting population came to vote. The corrupt regime of Zinawe claimed to
have won and maintained his dictatorship. He then declared all demonstrations,
gatherings, any kind of assembly illegal. Still there were many riots and many
people were killed and imprisoned.
All leaders in opposition to
the government imprisoned. All educated Oromo, journalists, leaders concerned
about the situation all imprisoned. According to one of the panelist the number
of those killed in Ethiopia could fill the metronome 8 times (not sure what time
span this covers or if he meant in all of Africa??)
Many doctors
flee the country due to oppression. When Zinawe was asked about it he said, "we
don't need doctors." This is absurd since thousands are dying of aides, and
other diseases.
Current government is destroying Ethiopia's
economy, creating a state of terror, dividing people groups, creating confusion,
all under the name of democracy. Oromos, Somalis, and other groups discriminated
against. The Ethiopian government has a democratic constitution, but it is not
followed in practice. Zinawe has managed to charm the US and British governments
with his constitution and empty words.
The situation of the Anuak
and Oromos is very similar. Academic freedom denied, civil rights oppressed, no
prisoners receive a trial.
Ethiopian government supports US "War on
Terror" as it distracts the world from the terrors going on in Ethiopia every
day.
Africa is in these kinds of situations due to Mismanagement
and Corrupt leadership. (The panel said they could count the number of GOOD
African leaders on one hand)
The ruling ethnic group is actually a
minority, making up only 7% of Ethiopian population. Oromos make up the largest
ethnic group in Ethiopia (about 40%), still they are treated like a minority and
denied political representation. The government maintains rule by keeping the
population uneducated, denying them of independent press, people are denied
fertilizers, land is suppressed, lots of surveillance, people are kept from
assembling.
We must continue to educate and share the truth. The
truth will set you free. The ethnic groups must unite.
1. Standing
for human rights is a basic human duty. There is nothing unpatriotic about
raising your voice for another country or people group. It is a universal
situation.
2. Don't judge the degree of human violation by the amount of
people killed. Every life matters.
3. We can't eliminate violations of human
rights by standing for only one ethnic group. All must unite and fight together
equally.
Question was asked: Isn't Zinawe a puppet of the US?
The US supports Zinawe. The US can't call the December 13, 2003 even
"genocide" because then they'll have a responsibility to do something about it.
Even a 60 some page report was written on the event and the US did not release
it saying "It's not in US interest to release this document"....they will not
release the report for 25 years.
About the possibility of the US
wanting a share in the oil found on Anuak land "Finding oil on your land is like
finding a tumor in your brain"
Many other questions were asked
about US involvement and support (financially and politically). But the Anuak
man on the panel said, "the US does support the Ethiopian government but we
cannot blame America for our problems; we have do some rethinking..." raise up
GOOD African leaders " If we don't have leaders with a fear of God we will go no
where"
The last comment was made by an Anuak woman in the audience.
People make such a fuss when animals near extinction. But nobody cares that the
Anuak people are becoming extinct. We need to educate people about what's
going on. Raise awareness. We need to value human life and human rights. We
need to take action and communicate with our government representatives.
Come to the seminar/ panel discussion on raising a "new
breed of African leaders" on April 6.
I love to learn about the countries of the people that I'm working with. I've learned so much already. This is just a snippit. I will be going April 6 to the other panel discussion. I'm excited to learn more. It's so much easier to listen and take notes now then in college. I guess I was overwhelmed with classes there, and now I can go to things I want to hear and I'm not required to be there and I'm not paying thousands of dollars for it. Takes the pressure off.
Last week I also attended a seminar on West Africa and learned so much there also. It was quite a busy week. Not only were we going to seminars, but it was also the end of our quarter and we had to reach our goals, AND we were being audited. It was so crazy busy. But the energy and adrenalin of being busy and in a rush made the time go by fast. This week has already been really slow and I'm having a hard time finding things to do! I'd almost rather be crazy busy.
Go Jesus! Go Twins!
Last night I had the privilege of joining Hope Community Church in going to the Twins Home Opener at the Metrodome! It was actually really fun. As you can see the dome was packed out. I've only been to one other Twins game in my life.
I'm can't help but notice things that others may not... these observations, may go unnoticed by most people because they are things we see every day. Going to an even of this magnitude, it's hard for me to not think of it in light of eternity. There's no secret that Sports is a god in this country. Things have not changed much since Bible Times. The gods just look diferent. People gather together to worship their idols. I kid you not, that when the MVPs went up to bat people were literally bowing down and worshiping, giving their praises. I kid you not. If we would only gather together with this amount of energy and excitement and bow down and give our praises to Jesus... how amazingly different this world would be! I imagine in heaven there could be a thousand stadiums like this filled with people cheering in unison at God's awesomeness, even doing a worship wave. Ha ha ha.
I'm homesick for heaven.
I'm can't help but notice things that others may not... these observations, may go unnoticed by most people because they are things we see every day. Going to an even of this magnitude, it's hard for me to not think of it in light of eternity. There's no secret that Sports is a god in this country. Things have not changed much since Bible Times. The gods just look diferent. People gather together to worship their idols. I kid you not, that when the MVPs went up to bat people were literally bowing down and worshiping, giving their praises. I kid you not. If we would only gather together with this amount of energy and excitement and bow down and give our praises to Jesus... how amazingly different this world would be! I imagine in heaven there could be a thousand stadiums like this filled with people cheering in unison at God's awesomeness, even doing a worship wave. Ha ha ha.
I'm homesick for heaven.
Meet...
Meet the new member of my family! I don't have a name for him yet, but maybe you could give me some ideas. He's a pretty one, eh!? He's quite photogenic, in my opinion. I bought some freeze dried blood worms for him today... that's the icky floaties you see in the pics.
Monday, March 26, 2007
It's Him in Me.
Certain events this past week caused me to think about things I've never had to think about before. A friend of mine told me she would have an abortion if she found out she was pregnant. My reaction to this was fierce. I told her in so many words how she can't murder her baby. Almost instinctively, I knew that I would do anything to keep her from doing that. It turned out that she was not pregnant. But that situation made me think a lot. I said to my sibling in an email:
There are so many things I do wrong. I just praise God that he put any good in me at all. And I praise God that this Good is Jesus in me.
Work has been crazy the past couple weeks for two reasons. I'll try to explain best I can. First of all the end of our quarter is coming up at the end of the month and we need to meet our placement goals in order to keep our funding. We're working so hard to meet those goals, but people just aren't hiring our clients it seems. It's so hard! So every placement is a great achievement and a cause to celebrate. It's a great feeling when you learn that your client has been hired. Another reaon things are so crazy is cuz next Tuesday we're being audited, so we have to prep all our files, and make sure everything is in order so that we get a good report. It's nuts trying to manage time when you've got hours of file management to do and at the same time try to meet with clients and find a job for them. Yikes. What a ride! So after the end of March hopefully things will calm down a bit.
Hope you are all taking time to close your eyes and think how awesome our God is and Praise him for ... air. yeah. Praise the lord for air and orchids today. Ha!
If I could save the baby by adopting it, then that's what I'd do. And I thought
about how having a baby would completely change my life. But I also thought how
in the future i would love to adopt....
i never really thought through those things before. I never faced this kind of situation before, but I am glad that the Lord has put it in me to despise abortion. I was kind of
surprised at my fierce reaction when she mentioned it. I don't normally get
worked up easily. And I wouldn't consider myself a very passionate person. But I
found myself to be passionate about not letting that baby be killed.
Always learning stuff about myself. I wish I had the same kind of
passion about sharing Jesus with others so they can also be saved from their
souls being killed.
There are so many things I do wrong. I just praise God that he put any good in me at all. And I praise God that this Good is Jesus in me.
Work has been crazy the past couple weeks for two reasons. I'll try to explain best I can. First of all the end of our quarter is coming up at the end of the month and we need to meet our placement goals in order to keep our funding. We're working so hard to meet those goals, but people just aren't hiring our clients it seems. It's so hard! So every placement is a great achievement and a cause to celebrate. It's a great feeling when you learn that your client has been hired. Another reaon things are so crazy is cuz next Tuesday we're being audited, so we have to prep all our files, and make sure everything is in order so that we get a good report. It's nuts trying to manage time when you've got hours of file management to do and at the same time try to meet with clients and find a job for them. Yikes. What a ride! So after the end of March hopefully things will calm down a bit.
Hope you are all taking time to close your eyes and think how awesome our God is and Praise him for ... air. yeah. Praise the lord for air and orchids today. Ha!
Orchids
There's nothing like an orchid. All of these are so different, yet they come from the same family. Each is beautiful in it's own way.
Orchids
Today I went with my sister-in-law Sally to the Minnesota Arboretum where they had an orchid showing. I love orchids. I love orchids. I love orchids. I want to grow them. Any one have any tips for me?
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
cliches
I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately. OK, since this morning. I am tired. So tired. There's a lot on my plate right now. But it's going to be ok, right?
Work is good and I'm still happy to be there. But I'm a little discouraged by the lack of placements lately. It's like the oposite of that Bible verse around here.... the labor is few but the workers are many. Today I just wasn't all there and I think I disappointed a few people... that could just be me thinking things that aren't really there though.
I'm still trying to figure the car stuff. It's been a long time coming. And now I have to save up to get it fixed, cuz its got some issues.
I went to Wisconsin over the weekend to visit my good friends. It was a good time.
I'm so talkative right now it's killing me.
Work is good and I'm still happy to be there. But I'm a little discouraged by the lack of placements lately. It's like the oposite of that Bible verse around here.... the labor is few but the workers are many. Today I just wasn't all there and I think I disappointed a few people... that could just be me thinking things that aren't really there though.
I'm still trying to figure the car stuff. It's been a long time coming. And now I have to save up to get it fixed, cuz its got some issues.
I went to Wisconsin over the weekend to visit my good friends. It was a good time.
I'm so talkative right now it's killing me.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Hope
Yesterday I took Hope out applying for jobs at nursing homes. The first one we went to was plush and cozy, all the staffers were very friendly and helpful. They were hiring for housekeeping. The second nursing home was quite different. It was an old high rise. The main room was dark, dank, and unkempt. They weren't hiring for housekeeping but looked like they could sure use it. The people were quite different as well. Not only were the staff rough and cranky, but the residents seemed more so. Hope applied for a dietary aide position there.
As she filled out the application, I observed a very angry, mean resident down the hall talking (or rather shouting) to the nurse. He was unhappy about something and went on about the conditions and treatment of this "home." As the nurse wheeled him to the elevator I'll never forget what he said... "I wish to God that I were dead..."
I've heard people say this kind of thing before. But the way he said it... he meant it. Immediately after those words came from his mouth my spirit sank. My heart broke for this old man. I still can't seem to get him out of my mind.
So if you would now, just say a prayer for this man... that the pain, the ill treatment, the anger, the bitterness... will be replaced with joy, love, and hope, that Jesus will open his eyes to His love and forgiveness and peace, that he'd have a reason to live, and the only reason he would ever wish to depart from this world is to be with Jesus in his heavenly home. He needs Hope. He needs Jesus.
Hope finished filling out the application, and as we got up to leave the man's words were still resonating in my head. Just as I was about to leave feeling the utter hopelessness the man ascribed to this place, an elderly woman gave me the sweetest biggest smile as if the Lord were using her to encourage me that there is HOPE.
Then Hope and I walked out together and went home.
As she filled out the application, I observed a very angry, mean resident down the hall talking (or rather shouting) to the nurse. He was unhappy about something and went on about the conditions and treatment of this "home." As the nurse wheeled him to the elevator I'll never forget what he said... "I wish to God that I were dead..."
I've heard people say this kind of thing before. But the way he said it... he meant it. Immediately after those words came from his mouth my spirit sank. My heart broke for this old man. I still can't seem to get him out of my mind.
So if you would now, just say a prayer for this man... that the pain, the ill treatment, the anger, the bitterness... will be replaced with joy, love, and hope, that Jesus will open his eyes to His love and forgiveness and peace, that he'd have a reason to live, and the only reason he would ever wish to depart from this world is to be with Jesus in his heavenly home. He needs Hope. He needs Jesus.
Hope finished filling out the application, and as we got up to leave the man's words were still resonating in my head. Just as I was about to leave feeling the utter hopelessness the man ascribed to this place, an elderly woman gave me the sweetest biggest smile as if the Lord were using her to encourage me that there is HOPE.
Then Hope and I walked out together and went home.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
My God
Yesterday was a sad day. It was the last time I met with my sweet Russian client. I am really going to miss Galina. When I told her that I am closing her case and now she can focus on school she was so relieved, and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek! In her very broken English she said something like, "Marina [her daughter] say Leah... goood. I say...my God, thank you I know Leah." I will miss how every time I see her at least once she will look into the sky and open her hands and say "My God"... thank you, or "My God"... help me. Knowing that we both look to the same "My God."
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Rubbish
You don't have to read this. It's all my usual blabberings. And here it goes...
Work is going well. I feel very busy always and STILL so amazed I am here and often feel inadequate, but I'm learning SO many invaluable truths, tools, life skills, and useful knowledge. I find I get really attached to my clients and can't help but do more then my job requirements for them. Helping to find housing, helping prepare for a medical terminology quiz, helping with clothing, whatever really. I find myself also taking my work home with me, but not in a bad way. I think about my clients all the time and dream up ways to help them get jobs. I'm thrilled to pieces to help them. The Lord is so great to me. I give him all the glory for allowing me this experience.
You know, I've never had to really really struggle to get where I wanted in life. Somehow the Lord just opens doors for me and all I had to do was walk in. I feel incredibly blessed to have had it pretty easy. I don't expect everything to always be like that. And not every thing has been easy. I'd give up all the other blessings if only I could know Jesus more. I feel like Paul when he counts all those things, as great as they are, as rubbish. And you know how I love my job. It is still rubbish compared to Jesus. I don't know how to express my desire for him, and the frustration to be in this empty place.
We would like to have death and resurrection put together within one hour of each other.
We cannot face the thought that God will keep us aside for so long a time we cannot bear to wait. And of course I cannot tell you how long He will take,
but in principle I think it is quite safe to say this,
that there will be a definite periods when He will keep you there.
It will seem as though nothing is happening
as though everything you valued is slipping from your grasp.
There confronts you a blank wall with no door in it.
Seemingly everyone else is being blessed and used,
while you yourself have been passed by and are losing out.
Lie quiet. All is in darkness, but it is only for a night.
It must indeed be a full night, but that is all.
Afterwards you will find that everything is given back to you in glorious resurrection
and nothing can measure the difference between what was before and what now is!
--Watchman Nee, Normal Christian Life
I've been reading some prayers of mine from last year. While I was in China I found it so difficult to pray, and typing out a letter then reading it out loud was the only way I could express my thoughts to the Lord. Things haven't changed much since then. And the prayers are still very similar. Still, I can safely say that I've grown a little since and know some things now that I didn't know then. Still I want the same thing, and probably always will... more of Him. Still waiting for a resurrection of sorts, waiting for the night to be over, waiting for a door to open, waiting for the "what now is" so the "what was before" can finally be a memory instead of a present reality.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Still Looking Up
I feel so blessed to still love my job. It's such a great thing! Every day brings new challenges. The past couple months have been so slow in placements. There just haven't been any jobs available that our clients can do. Til just last Thursday... we were nearly flooded with openings! It was such a rush trying to call clients and get the hooked up with these openings. We were run so ragged and so busy, but it was a lot of fun. I was so exhasted Friday night. But a good exhasted.
I wish I had more time to read. I have a lot of great books sitting on my shelves collecting dust. I am determined to get through them though. I just started reading "Chasing the Dragon." No, it's not a kung fu story. It's a missionary biography of a British woman, Jackie Pullinger, going alone to Hong Kong in the 70's and making disciples. So far it's amazing and I'm only through the second chapter.
A friend of mine has invited me to the Bible Study he attends, so I am going to check that out tomorrow night. I am excited to meet some fellow believers my age.
It's good to hang with my folks' group, although I do feel more like an outsider and observer. Still I'm very excited for them and can see that the Lord is doing some amazing things among them. You can always tell when the Lord is really moving when there seems to be more attacks from the enemy. The enemy is threatened and wants to wreck the fellowship, but Praise God! God is so good and is equipping and growing and moving.
I was so encouraged to read a testimony of a man who had been imprisoned in Romania for his faith. My spirit was so encouraged and rejoiced at how God turned what the devil meant for evil into awesome good! The devil is such a laughable speck. Oh how my Jesus reigns. It's so so GOOD to see Jesus kicking Satans butt. What a joy to see my Lord so easily flick him away. I can't help but laugh out loud.
I feel like the weekend went too fast, and I'm not quite recovered from last weeks busy-ness. Still, I must go back to work in the morning. So it's off to bed...
I wish I had more time to read. I have a lot of great books sitting on my shelves collecting dust. I am determined to get through them though. I just started reading "Chasing the Dragon." No, it's not a kung fu story. It's a missionary biography of a British woman, Jackie Pullinger, going alone to Hong Kong in the 70's and making disciples. So far it's amazing and I'm only through the second chapter.
A friend of mine has invited me to the Bible Study he attends, so I am going to check that out tomorrow night. I am excited to meet some fellow believers my age.
It's good to hang with my folks' group, although I do feel more like an outsider and observer. Still I'm very excited for them and can see that the Lord is doing some amazing things among them. You can always tell when the Lord is really moving when there seems to be more attacks from the enemy. The enemy is threatened and wants to wreck the fellowship, but Praise God! God is so good and is equipping and growing and moving.
I was so encouraged to read a testimony of a man who had been imprisoned in Romania for his faith. My spirit was so encouraged and rejoiced at how God turned what the devil meant for evil into awesome good! The devil is such a laughable speck. Oh how my Jesus reigns. It's so so GOOD to see Jesus kicking Satans butt. What a joy to see my Lord so easily flick him away. I can't help but laugh out loud.
I feel like the weekend went too fast, and I'm not quite recovered from last weeks busy-ness. Still, I must go back to work in the morning. So it's off to bed...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
A bit of the heart and other stuff
It's almost more then I can handle.
It's only Monday, yet it feels like a Thursday or something. My clients go through so much. I feel so helpless to help them. One quit his job at the meat processing plant because his friend/co-worker was kicked by a cow and died. One is being kicked out of the house and has no place to go, no income, and a three year old boy. She is so frustrated with the struggles of making it as a new American that she actually would rather go back to Liberia where war has torn the county apart and they fear for their lives. Just trying to find jobs for them is hard enough, and they have all these other challenges as well. These people are real. They aren't just a story, they aren't strangers, they aren't lesser... they are flesh and blood, heart and soul... just like you and me. These faces and lives are burned into my memory and heart.
I just finished watching Breakfast at Tiffany's...again. I'm facinated by the way the lost, nameless girl finally lets someone love her.
I'm trying not to let this Valentines buisiness get to me. It was such a silly mess trying to find someone to take with me to the Timberwolves game for which I got 2 free tickets. Why of all days did it have to be on February 14 when all my friends are either going out with their significant other, live far far away, or are guys that I don't want to freak out. It got to be such a silly ordeal that I decided to give the tickets to my co-worker who would appreciate going to a basketball game more then I would anyway. That way I don't have to worry about the whole thing. Instead I think I will go on a "date" with Jesus. Of all people to celebrate love with, why not LOVE himself.
It's only Monday, yet it feels like a Thursday or something. My clients go through so much. I feel so helpless to help them. One quit his job at the meat processing plant because his friend/co-worker was kicked by a cow and died. One is being kicked out of the house and has no place to go, no income, and a three year old boy. She is so frustrated with the struggles of making it as a new American that she actually would rather go back to Liberia where war has torn the county apart and they fear for their lives. Just trying to find jobs for them is hard enough, and they have all these other challenges as well. These people are real. They aren't just a story, they aren't strangers, they aren't lesser... they are flesh and blood, heart and soul... just like you and me. These faces and lives are burned into my memory and heart.
I just finished watching Breakfast at Tiffany's...again. I'm facinated by the way the lost, nameless girl finally lets someone love her.
I'm trying not to let this Valentines buisiness get to me. It was such a silly mess trying to find someone to take with me to the Timberwolves game for which I got 2 free tickets. Why of all days did it have to be on February 14 when all my friends are either going out with their significant other, live far far away, or are guys that I don't want to freak out. It got to be such a silly ordeal that I decided to give the tickets to my co-worker who would appreciate going to a basketball game more then I would anyway. That way I don't have to worry about the whole thing. Instead I think I will go on a "date" with Jesus. Of all people to celebrate love with, why not LOVE himself.
